Thursday, August 10, 2017


Load 'er up
It seems that some are unable to chill
properly. The ultimate proof is in their
FRIDGE. I don't know why but many
are unable to manage the fetid fillings
of their home cooling apparatus. What
drives such dysfunction? It's obvious
that they simply can't keep their cool.
Got milk?
Urbanites view food management differently
than our friends in the outer boroughs. Every
day we stop at the corner market on the way
home. After scanning our options, we select
whatever is fresh and appetizing. Then we go
home, cook, and eat. On the other hand, most
suburbanites take a weekly grocery shopping
trip to the market and load up their mini vans.
Stocking up on more than enough provisions
to survive an extended nuclear holocaust.
Dig deep
Sifting through the contents of
most freezers is comparable to
an archaeological dig. The idea
of finding a intact, frozen woolly
mammoth intrigues. But who
wants to thaw, grill and chew
on some pre-historic steak?
What's in there?
There's nothing worse than opening
the fridge door and being hit by an
odor reminiscent of old socks! For
many the idea of discarding rotten
food seems abhorrent. I'm not sure
if it's driven by guilt over waste or
simply laziness. What's obvious is
that many maintain their fridge like
a petri dish. Who knows what evil
lurks within but frankly, it's scary!
More is more
I'm not naming names but some folks
have been known to store stuff in the
vegetable "crisper" for EONS. When
a treasure is rediscovered, it often has
no resemblance to what it once was.
Bubbling bags of hubris are colorful
but any danger of food poisoning is
not worth the risk! Up keeping one's
cool is necessary to insure survival.
Yet it's hard to keep up. One should
consider installing a walk-in cooler.
At least that would help them easily
survey whatever they've got on ice!