Saturday, August 12, 2017


Enough is enough!
I've had it. Tourists swarming
Manhattan are beyond SLOBS.
Frankly I can't even begin to
imagine what they're thinking!
Mediocrity has taken over our
fair city in the form of shorts,
tees, tanks, flip flops, and not
much else. What happened to
pride - straight pride that is?!

Pack it up!
Years ago, one planned travel
wardrobes carefully prior to a
major jaunt. Elegant ensembles
were packed between layers of
tissue in a commodious trunk.
It now appears that those who
plan to get out of Dodge (as in
Michigan) simply throw dirty
laundry into a carry on and go!
Only to arrive a rumpled mess.
Lost in translation.
There's no excuse for a slovenly
demeanor. Even those hordes of
international tourists appear to
have just rolled out of bed. For
some reason most visitors seem
to assume theres no need to fuss
while visiting Manhattan. Even
as locals stroll by in all of their
sartorial splendor. Hey Tokyo -
目を覚ます (as in wake up)!
No reservations
In days gone by, any lady who
lunched at Bergdorf's did so in
her finest frock. Now one sees
a table full of Sex In The City
types sitting next to some slob
wearing his (or her) baseball
cap INSIDE! Thank God my
dearly departed Mother is gone.
That would have KILLED her!
Move along please!
"Casual" attire aside our visitors
are bad at navigating. Strolling
five across a busy sidewalk plus
suddenly stopping in it's midst
puts such neophytes in danger.
Locals like me tray to avoid a
collision. However more than
a few idling Iowans have been
smitten by a unintended side
swipe from my mighty Birkin.
Traveler's Advisory
Here are some tips to help make
your visit a pleasant one for all.
Dress for success!
There's no reason to look like a
hick. Plan your looks, shop the
town, strut your stuff, and most
important make us all proud!
Step aside...
We're all in a rush. So please -
leave some room for the locals.
Look before you stop, walk in
single file, and WATCH OUT!
Welcome to Manhattan!