Frankly, I've never had this
problem before. This morning
I woke up with complete and
total writers block. For the life
of me, after sitting at my desk
for almost an hour, NOTHING
seemed to come together. NADA, ZERO, ZIP!
Yesterday I got a haircut.
My barber shop is two blocks
down the street, Owned by a
very vocal Russian emigre, it's
always entertaining. One would
think that might have provided
some inspiration and yet... NADA, ZERO, ZIP!
Frank is here for a brief urban
respite. He also has to get his
haircut which requires a jaunt
to Manhattan. One might
assume I would have loving
stories to share. While it's
amazing how oddly complete
I feel with him here. However, NADA, ZERO, ZIP!
We went to the theater last night.
Saw Taylor Holland in her one
woman show on Anne Richards
which was FABULOUS.
Yes, it was beyond inspiring,
But did it inspire a blog entry?! NADA, ZERO, ZIP.
Sitting alone stumped and
bemused my computer froze.
Who can explain what that
was all about? Probably too
many images of retro America
or some other odd phenomena.
Whatever it was, it ultimately
solved itself. But only after a
long and tortuous hour of... NADA, ZERO, ZIP.
So, that's been my morning.
It's the first time I truly have
nothing to say. And trust me
that is more than frustrating
to say the least. In the end,
what's today's entry about?
Honestly, I have no idea.
And sadly my dear readers,
I doubt you got anything
out of this diatribe beyond NADA ZERO, ZIP!
It's beyond amazing how the world has changed in my lifetime. Change is inevitable and when it's positive what could be better? Two recent events indicate that while we're moving forward, we still have a long way to go. A couple.
Yesterday the Supreme Court ruled DOMA was not constitutional. Now any gay couple legally married in a state where allowed, is now recognized by the federal government. A reality check, only thirteen states legally allow gay marriage.
Over thirty years ago I walked down the aisle. After the pomp and circumstance, my wife and I were legally bound. All that we owned was suddenly "ours" and whatever we subsequently built together was shared. We did.
When we divorced, severing that legal bond demanded equality. Our legal (and moral) obligation was to fairly dissolve our partnership. And share the responsibility of raising our children until they were adults. That was the law.
It's funny but you don't realize what you have until you lose it. My parents raised me with a sense of entitlement. I felt that I could have anything I wanted as long as I worked hard enough to get it. That was the American way. I couldn't.
Then finally, I found the perfect partner. But, somewhere along the way I lost something important. My legal right to equality. While I was the same person, with the same morals, the difference was that I now loved a person of the same sex. Therefore I was not entitled to the same legal rights that I had enjoyed prior.
Change is inevitable and ultimately fair. In my youth, men and women of different races could not legally marry in most states. Many felt the need to prohibit other's love. Finally our culture realized that this was wrong and prejudicial legislation was over turned. Yesterday, the same happened for same sex couples. Anything can drive change. It wasn't that long ago that Rosa Parks held her ground on a bus. She decided that she wasn't going to accept less any more. Ultimately right overcame wrong and segregation was ended. Change is a process where the majority slowly moves from "before" to "after".
It's proven that the world can change, yet can we accept that those who live in it also change in the process? In the news, a celebrity raised in the segregated south stands to lose everything because she admitted to uttering the "N" word at times in her life. Given the sins of our fathers, how can we allow her "before" to destroy her "after"? Is that fair?
Can't get enough!
I adore men but love women. Besides Frank, I share my life with many of the female persuasion. We've talked about "it" before. That magical concoction that causes you to immediately connect. I'm blessed to have a gaggle of "it" girls in my life. Friends for life from the moment we met. It's strange how that first impression can form a life long bond. And yet, looking back that's exactly what happened.
She was wearing a down vest when nobody, I repeat nobody wore down vests. A mane of chestnut hair framed a face that was beyond lovely. And yet, it was apparent that she cared little for appearances. Her true beauty was talent. When she picked up a pencil all things botanical became magical. From that day we met and on we've been as close as two friends can be. Shared tears and laughter enabled us to survive broken marriages, lost loves, and idiotic dreams.
I can't imagine life without her and am happy knowing she'll always be there.
Everybody said she was tough and trust me, she was. She zoomed around the agency as if she owned the place. Nobody messed with her, you simply did what you were told. Then she stopped by my office and I discovered that the most powerful thing about "G" was "G"! The essence of Hepburn grace, beneath that tough exterior lurked a pussy cat. Immediately ready to do anything, expecting nothing in return. Her real strength is deep within her. I've watched her leverage that inner power to overcome infidelity, uncertainty, and cancer. Many tears later, she is my daily inspiration.
It was strictly business. We met via telephone.
Her company was partnering with our client.
My agency was assigned to build a campaign.
Sight unseen, her confidence, charm, and candor
immediately engaged. Then we met face-to-face
and fireworks! She entered the room looking like
a movie star. A glowing orb of perfectly coiffed
auburn set off an elegantly tailored, subtly chic
ensemble. Everything about her was perfection
and yet she was totally "real". You see, warmth
and kindness are her most charming qualities.
I fell in love that day and over twenty years later,
still feel the same. If only I didn't like boys...
I've had many work wives. Consumed professionals who I spent most of my day with. "M", "S", "LVB", "B", "E", "L", "A", and "K" the queen of this realm. For over eight years at two companies we were inseparable. She's smart, witty, and a bit of a bitch... a glorious, divine, and fabulous one! We first "clicked" sitting in adjacent seats in First Class. The red wine started to flow until finally, our exhausted flight attendant gave is our own bottle(s). Ultimately our friendship grew far beyond work. We've shared secrets nobody else knows. Not even our husbands!
To name a few...
I know that right now several of you are disappointed that you were not one of the above. While today I didn't write about my Tiffany jewel, Red Headed Stepchild, Valley Girl, Duluth Diva, Plano Playmate, Bosom Buddy, Korean Bombshell, and others unnamed, you know who you are. Frankly
I am blessed to have all of you in my life.
"A", "B", "C", "D", "E", "F", "G", "H", "I", "J", "K", "L", "M", "N", "O", "P", sorry no "Q's", "R", "S", "T", no "U's" just all of yous listed, "V", "W", and the only "X", "Y", and "Z" in my life... my darling Frank!
DNA is on the menu.
One can't question the impact of
heredity. Nor reject any argument
that the way a child is raised molds
them into who they become. If you
disagree, I suggest you get out and
frequent places that families frequent.
You'll quickly acknowledge the harsh
reality that the next generation are young Philistines.
Leave it at home.
I adore children. enough that I sired
four myself. However mine had some
semblance of an education in table
manners. Today parents gleefully enjoy
watching as their babies fling debris
across the restaurant. Also they revel
in listening to their tots hit new decibels.
While seemingly a dose of parental
pleasure, I can assure you that the rest
of the paying diners do not agree.
Take it outside!
You see, as society lowers it's standards,
children are dragged through the muck.
While that may seem harsh, trust me, it's
the truth. Whenever I interact with families
I am impacted by childish behavior that
frankly is unkind to all especially the
untethered and indulged child. One can't
understand how any parent assumes it's
pleasurable for anybody to listen to their
child wail in church. In my day one took
their noisy baby outside. Today parents
seem to assume their child's cries are
preferable to the homily. Are they nuts?
Who's in control?
Somewhere along the way the paradigm of
power shifted. Satisfying and indulging the
needs, wants, desires, and schedules of our
children seems to be our raison d'etre. And
while I'm certain the kiddies love all of the
attention, what they truly crave and need is
structure. Parents have a responsibility to
raise children "in the way they should go".
To achieve that requires assuming the role
of teacher, authority, protector, leader.
It's our fault.
Somewhere along the way our generation lost
it's mojo. In our rebellion many of us decided
to be our children's friends. While my parents
were not perfect, they raised me quite well. I
was loved and knew it. Plus every lesson in
demeanor and manners benefitted me greatly.
So, I'm begging all parents of terrifying tots - Grow up so that your children can grow up properly!
Thirty years later...
On my last day in Montana, we attended a pot luck picnic in honor of a newly married couple. After thirty years, they finally tied the knot and invited us all to celebrate.
A circle of love
It was a gathering of every realm of rural life. Ranchers, politicians, and even a roue' or two! Over fifty Montanans showing love for two who finally made their love legal.
One half sits on almost every board in town. Just the kind of person who everybody naturally trusts. The other runs a large local organization. Pianist, equestrian, collector, storyteller, historian, bon vivant, scholar, just begins to describe the pair.
A couple of...
By now I guess you've figured it out. What makes this story most inspiring is that the couple lauded by locals are two gay men. You see, they've built a life here in rural Montana and have been completely accepted as "equals". Maybe that's how the west will be truly won!
Out of state
Across the country people are figuring out that it doesn't matter who you love, what matters is how you love. Several states have made it legal and soon the Supreme Court may decide that any two are better than one.
Out of touch
Our honored couple had to get married in the "liberal" state of Washington. While it's doubtful that Montana will license gay marriage soon, maybe someday our state legislation will be as accepting as it's residents.
Far from it all.
The best part about Lewistown is it's location. The worst part about Lewistown is getting there. Today I'm on my way back to New York. Supposedly our local commercial passenger flights end effective July 15th. However my morning flight was canceled due to "no crew".
So, we must drive to Billings.
7:00 AM MST
Billings is a 126 mile trip from Lewistown. The route takes you through two towns. Grass Range, population 109 and Roundup, population 1,853. Because of the canceled flight, and once there are no more flights, Frank must travel five hours roundtrip to tote me!
9:15 AM MST
Upon arriving at Billings, I check in and go through their very "engaged" security. At less than ten gates, all flights go to major hubs like Denver, Salt Lake City, or Minneapolis.
10:23 AM MST
My flight to Denver travels over three uniquely western states. While Wyoming is rather flat, one soars over the Rocky Mountains and Continental Divide prior to landing.
12:05 PM MST
The flight to Denver is short but the layovers are long. Tight connections are virtually impossible, especially going east. It's times like these where one dreams of a private jet.
2:49 PM MST
Modern airport terminals are desolate places. Architectural bravado aside, Denver lacks any interest. However once I log onto my computer, the time moves by quickly. Then we finally take off for New York.
8:29 PM EST
Landing at Laguardia is thrilling but disappointing. Given New York is such an amazing city, why is it's airport crammed on a tiny sliver of Queens? Because if it wasn't so damned convenient it would be condemned!
9:30 PM EST
By the time I arrive at my apartment, it's LATE. After over ten hours in cars, planes, and airports, one wonders why anybody would own a "second" home in such a remote location. My answer is... PARADISE!