Saturday, August 17, 2019


Here piggy piggy...
I'm just a decadent pig. I love to eat
and have been known to roll in muck.
Fortunately I'm in good company given
experts consider our porcine friends the
smartest of domestic animals - more so
than cats and dogs! When challenged,
pigs master complex cerebral tasks as
quickly as chimpanzees. Thus smarts
must be the reason pigs excel at sniffing
out the prize or all prizes - TRUFFLES.
What's that smell?
Is there anything more decadent,
fragrant, or elusive as a truffle?
Black, white, winter, summer, in
reality it's a knob of mold under
the ground. Yet it is a magically
addictive culinary accoutrement.
All for up to $2,000 per pound!
Crazy but somehow worth it.
Better than sex!
I realize that's shocking but it's
true. I've slowly come to know
that there is such a thing as a
culinary orgasm. And... I've had
several at great eateries around
the world. In Manhattan I loved
to dine al fresco at San Pietro on
 black summer truffle linguine.
All for somewhere around $125
at plate. Those were the days...
Fry me a river.
Theres but one thing I miss about Dallas
(beyond friends and colleagues) and that
is The Mansion at Turtle Creek. We oft
enjoyed a warm evening dining on their
terrace. Beyond a bourbon Manhattan,
my favorite menu item was their truffle
fries. Served quite elegantly in a silver
mint julep cup, the scent was intoxicating.
However now in Lewistown our Brewery
even serves truffled tater tots. Mon Dieu!
A perfect marriage.
While dear "D's" second try at
marriage didn't last, I cherish
the memory of those yummy
Lobster Napoleons served at
her wedding reception. Lobster
plus shaved white truffles and
paper thin crisp potatoes made
us all scream I DO, DO, DO!
Fungus among us?
Montana is full of truffles. Sadly
most are not nearly as tasty as
those found in Italy's Piedmont
region. Happily in 2010 a tasty
variety was found in Oregon.
Tuber Oregonense is a cousin
to the beloved but pricey white
truffle. So my little piggies -
oink,  oink, let's start digging!

Friday, August 16, 2019


Well shut my mouth
Believe it or not, there are times this
writer is literally speechless. Today
I struggled with finding fodder for
some diatribe. That could be due to
the fact that I've nothing to say that
even interests me. Or I may simply
be numb to the spew Donald Trump
throws our way. Then of course one
might assume that sharing whatever
is on one's mind  every 24/7 can tire
even the most verbose of vivants.
While I'm not sure why I've hit this
literal verbal wall words can't tell...

Less is more
What do you do when you feel that
you've no cause to speak your piece?
I've no doubt that isn't my problem.
Instead I'm rather tired of late. And
even more so, over it all. While I try
to be a glass have full kind of guy,
at times even I occasionally reach
the end of my rope. Fortunately I've
your cyber shoulders to cry on. But
at times that means that you must
patiently hear me out. Which brings
us to the subject of today's missive -

Over and out
In theory I've plenty to shout about.
Beyond politics and the recent stock
market dive, I'm happy. I share life
with one who completes me. I have
friends ready and waiting to wave
their pom poms. Fortunately two of
my children speak to me on a regular
basis. Thus all is good. So what is
is my problem? NOTHING. Which
is exactly what I have t contribute.
Therefore it's best that I keep my big
mouth shut. And so for today that's
exactly what I'm doing. ENJOY!

Thursday, August 15, 2019


Secret stash
Who knew that the latest trends,
world-class antiques, and vintage
home accoutrements were ready
and waiting in Lewistown, which
is the literal center of Montana?
The next time that you crave some
inspiration or can't find what you
need or... want... Stop by, log on,
and check out C+V HOME. We
love making new friends. Or just
welcoming old ones home...


Wednesday, August 14, 2019


Hello suckers
It's really rather amazing how gullible some
of us are. Yesterday I read in the Washington
Post that the Trump campaign had "raised"
$670,000 via the sale of plastic straws. Then
I googled them at
A "store" that sells a plethora of Trumpery.
The description read - "Liberal paper straws
don't work. Stand with President Trump and
buy your pack of recyclable plastic straws."
As shown and described, the nine inch long
red suckers are laser engraved, BPA free, and
made in the USA. A pack of ten is yours for
only FIFTEEN DOLLARS or $1.50 each.
Straw poll
Obviously playing to one's audience pays off.
However stoking the ire of some Americans
isn't necessarily the most productive of growth
experiences. Nor is ignoring our impact on the
world at large. Is it really too much to ask that
each of us do something positive? Why can't
we make America great again by substituting
biodegradable paper for indestructible plastic?!
Apparently investing in our children's future is
too hard to swallow for Donald Trump and his
followers. Instead they prefer to suck the life
out of our environment. Making a bit of cash
on the side as they add to the mess we've made.
This land is your land
Have Americans become so delusional that
we deem swopping plastic for paper to be a
leftist plot?! Like it or not we've taught our
offspring the importance of recycling. Thus
most Americans care about the environment
and try to do their part. Which causes me to
wonder how large a polluting portion of our
population is willing to shell out $15 to suck
up to Mr. Trump's conspiracy plots. Unless
you've never visited your town dump most
of us know we've got a big problem. Which
is why each and every one of us need to do
whatever we can to avoid the inevitable.
Paper or plastic?
Crazy headlines, tweets, and rhetoric aside,
Donald Trump and his administration have
hobbled tried and true efforts to make our
world a better place. Slashing EPA rules and
regulations designed to minimize our global
influence. Instead he empowers industries to
do and spew whatever they like. Who dreams
of their great grandchildren surviving global
warming will living atop a landfill of plastic?
Assuming that sans pain there is no gain, I'm
fairly certain that most of us are willing to do
something to avert environmental disaster.
Even if it means sucking on a soggy straw.

Tuesday, August 13, 2019


Put a lid on it
One of my dearest buddies "K" has a
favorite expression - "HELLO POT!"
Obviously a derivative of the adage
that challenges us to see our world as
it truly is - it's if nothing else a bitch
slap back to reality. You see, even the
most humble of souls can at times be
delusional. Hence the need for a pal
who is willing to set things straight.
To tell it like it is and feel free to take
the occasional pot shot. While some
assume the truth will set you free, it
can also push you to a boiling point.
Stir crazy
Do you ever purposefully stir the pot?
Welcome or not, there are times when
we must face facts a la the Madwoman
of Chaillot. We're all taken off guard
when forced to dive deep into territory
previously unknown. It's natural to be
afraid of things beyond belief. And yet
when confronted by the unbelievable
most of us benefit from what we have
no idea of. Seeing and believing things
that we never knew existed. Which is
why I love Lewistown. Even after years
of living here, I'm still often surprised.
Pot shots
Consider me. I'm proof you can't
judge a snook by his cover. Few
know I'm a homebody who limits
my exposure versus a snob who
prefers his own company. Some
assume I'm above it all. When
I'm just well grounded. A result
of my past imperfect I live in the
way I have become accustomed
to. Preferring to dish out my pot
pie on a china plate. Rather than
hand my guests a paper one only
to stand in some pot luck line.
Man over board
Given my liberal consumption of wine,
cream, and butter - there are a plethora
of  reasons why I've gone to pot. With
a now firmly established bump sitting
before me, I've become the kind of guy
I historically loathed. Just another fat,
opinionated, over the top queen in a
loud sport coat. But am I really all that
bad? While obviously over indulgent,
could I be even more than meets your
eye? Rather than some leftist louse -
I might be your Mr. Right. You don't
know what you don't know dear POT.

Pot luck
At this point you're thinking I'm
smoking pot as I write this blog.
While self-medicated, I'm simply
high on life. Long ago I learned
that smoke and mirrors only defer
us facing reality. Such illusions
attempt to hide the truth. Before
we take pot shots shouldn't we
see each other for who we are?
As part of this melting pot that
we call America - we have much
in common. Embracing who we
are in all our glory. "Hello pot!"

Monday, August 12, 2019


Parent trap?
Being a parent requires wisdom, patience, and
commitment. All of which come naturally for
most of us. However nobody prepares you for
such a big responsibility. Add the fact that most
of us are too young to understand the gravity of
the task at hand. And yet somehow we survive.
Whereas being the "parent" of a parent just may
be the most challenging of tasks. Hence much
of my generation continues to struggle with the
care and maintenance of their older parents. A
life-changing process thats not just challenging
but humbling for all involved. And possibly the
greatest growth experience we will ever have.
Been there, done that
As we near the end of life everything comes
full circle. When our kids are young its much
ado about their doo doo. Thus as the parent
of four children I spent years buying cases
of Pampers and formula. Now our weekly
grocery list includes Depends and Insure. As
parents of tots, we wheeled them around in
strollers. Cautiously watching them wobble
about the house. Today as children of elderly
parents we do the same. Knowing all too well
that one bad fall could be the end. And trust
me, there is nothing cute about loading up a
urine soaked wheel chair into your car trunk.
It's a small world after all
The older one gets, the smaller their sphere
of influence. At one hundred and one Frank's
dad is if nothing else a rarity. The majority
of what he once knew is but a memory. His
wife is gone. His closest friends dead. The
house he built is shuttered. Now his "home"
is a single room (by choice). It's decor a mix
of a hospital bed, power lift recliner, wheel
chair, potty seat, walker, and television. Like
a newborn at the start of life, survival relies
on the kindness of others. Sans the support
of a network of paid staff, family, and a few
friends he couldn't have made it this far.
Still a winner
All of that said, don't assume that he still isn't
in control. Post a lifetime of calling the shots,
Frank Senior knows that we will happily do
anything he wants. The difference being that
his requests for aid have grown all the simpler.
Rather than a big T-Bone steak dinner with all
the trimmings, he's happy with a pancake and
poached egg at the local greasy spoon. Instead
of taking a trip he's glad to roll into the casino
for a game of video poker. All while he holds
court. Chatting with those old enough to still
remember who he was. And are kind enough
to treat him with the respect he so deserves.
What's old is new
On the surface parenthood is a thankless task.
The longer one rears their kids the more they
worry about the outcome. Ultimately most of
our offspring find their way. And gratefully
assume responsibility when its necessary.
Long ago Dad encouraged us to enjoy life.
Suggesting "the golden years aren't golden."
A point that post navigating this process with
three out of four parents we must beg to differ.
Ultimately caring for one's elderly parent is
a gift of intimacy, connection, trust, and love.
And what could be more "golden" than that?
Not only a pleasure it's well worth the effort.

Sunday, August 11, 2019

7th Day Surprise: ALL AFLOAT

Do you sea what I see?

Living in central Montana,
the only thing missing is a large body of water.

As a tot it was the
Atlantic Ocean.
While in Chicago it was that inland sea called
Lake Michigan.
When in Minnesota it was an extended pond entitled
Lake Calhoun
Whereas in Dallas it was the
Here in Lewistown it's the rolling prairie plus
Big Spring Creek, and the Missouri and Judith Rivers

Apparently as long as there is a vast vista
and some gathering of moisture
I'm perfectly happy.