Wednesday, May 31, 2017


May days
During the month of May I celebrate several
important events in my life. First, the month
starts with the anniversary of our wedding.
Just two years ago Frank and I tied the knot
after living in sin for twenty years. An event
that I never imagined would ever be possible.
Next, theres the celebration of my arrival on
earth in the midst of May. A subtle reminder
that time marches on (and over you) in the
process. And finally, near May's end is the
day that I first met Frank twenty two years
ago. A capricious encounter that has since
led us both to a much happier place.
Double whammy
Sharing one's life with another is more than
a partnership. It's a physical and emotional
bonding that when right is miraculous. And
when wrong, quite obvious to BOTH parties.
Everybody enters into duality with the idea
that love conquers all. However often those
involved have no idea of what love truly is.
In essence, it is complete surrender. Not just
some tenuous detente. Nor deferral of one's
true desires for another. Rather it is the merge
of two disparate beings into one combination.
When that happens, said tie that binds only
grows stronger. And that's as good as it gets.
Graduate degrees
Life is the ultimate teacher. Hence most of us
spend our youth traveling on a circuitous path
that involves MANY learning curves. When
it comes to love, many have no idea what it's
truly is all about. Thus we compromise on the
spur of the moment. Which results in couples
living in a state of marital purgatory. A place
where compromise rules to the dissatisfaction
of BOTH involved. It's been said that one does
NOT know what they're missing until AFTER
they discover it. Which is why some longterm
marriages finally dissolve post one or the other
figuring out what's wrong and... right for them.
True confessions
Admitting one's mistakes just may be amongst
the hardest of life's humbling happenstances.
Especially when marriage by it's very nature
requires that two are intimately intertwined.
Therefore it makes sense that most of us do
whatever we can to right our connubial wrongs.
Sadly, in many cases what's broke ain't worth
fixing. Mostly because it was wrong from the
very start. And once one finally sees the light,
the idea of retreating back into the darkness of
a compromising situation simply isn't feasible.
Leading one or the other to finally admit defeat.
And to start to finally do what's right for both.
Over and out
Divorce is a public admission of failure.
Good intentions aside, the state of said
union is no longer viable. While sad, the
end result is better than living in limbo.
Invariably whoever initiated the split did
so for some reason. And almost always the
cause of said discontent is the realization
that there is something better out there.
Thus love can conquer all if and when you
finally discover it. Sadly, it often takes the
one left behind longer to figure things out.
Mostly because unlike you - they've yet to
personally experience the power of love.
Do's and don'ts
I've had two long term relationships in my life.
My first wedding also occurred in the month of
May. Said union was based in optimism, hope,
and naivety. Too young to know better, it wasn't
until much later that I discovered the reasons
why it was doomed from the start. Hence sadly
it ended on a tumultuous note. And to this day
I deeply regret said failure. Yet knowing what
I know now there really wasn't any other way
out. You see, we live and we learn. Often our
adult education involves more than a few hard
knocks. And yet in the end, most of us find our
way. Even if that means admitting defeat.
Good, better, best
Change inevitably is for the better. Today
I share my life with a man who completes
me. Every day - I repeat every day it gets
better. The strength, harmony, and power
of our bond unites us in ways that I never
dreamed were possible. And yet, for most
of my life it was staring me straight in my
face. My parents literally adored each other.
Throughout their sixty five years together
their love only grew stronger. Thus they
were living examples of what love is ALL
about. Ultimately I had to discover it for
myself. Which I did in the month of May.

Tuesday, May 30, 2017


Rise and shine
Recently my friend "M" waxed on
eloquently about making breakfast.
During a lengthy retail career she'd
dedicated the majority of her life to
the office. Once "retired" it suddenly
was ALL about her. After decades of
rushing out of the house she is now
able to enjoy the ultimate of luxuries.
Breakfast at home on a daily basis.
And that simple ritual has come to
signify her transition from corporate
drone to domestic goddess. Can you
imagine a better way to start the day?
Innie or outie
Historically I'm not a breakfast
guy, I adore my morning java
with an occasional slice of toast.
Until recently that's been all I've
started each day with. But over
the last months, I've found that
the best way to kick things off
is a hearty breakfast. Frying an
egg is still off of my bucket list.
Hence I try to grab breakfast on
my way to work. The very idea
that someone else is doing the
dishes is my idea of "over easy!"
Coffee clutch
All week long I'm focused on
the office. Once the weekend
arrives, I try to step back and
indulge in myself. For some
reason that lately has come
to mean pancakes. Big, light,
and fluffy buttermilk beauties.
Slathered with butter and then
smothered in REAL maple
syrup. Last weekend "T" and
I hit the coffee shop around
the corner. Not a Starbucks
but a bonified java hut dive.

To Go
Anything hot off the griddle
will do. Fried eggs and bacon.
An Egg McMuffin and hash
browns. Or a big, juicy Taylor
Ham, egg, & cheese sandwich
on a Kaiser roll. Yet all of the
above probably isn't good for
me. So most mornings I try to
start my day off right with a
bowl of organic oatmeal. Or
nibble on a protein bar. But
sadly nothing seems to satisfy
me unless grease is involved.
Home alone
At some point my eating excursions
are going to have to end. While I'm
trying to lose weight, starting one's
day by eating off the fat of the land
is not the healthiest of indulgences.
Whenever I eat breakfast, I dream
of the day when I can cook it myself
in my Montana kitchen. Nothing is
better then simply frying rather than
bringing home the bacon. Someday
I'll be like "M" and enjoy life's simple
pleasures on a daily basis. But I may
switch back to coffee rather than risk
exposure by frying bacon au natural...

Monday, May 29, 2017


Today is Memorial Day.

A time to remember those who have left us.

One of Frank's family traditions is to place
fresh Lilacs on the graves of those we've loved and lost.

So today we pay homage to our dearly departed.
They will always live on in our hearts.
Therefore while gone
they are most definitely