Saturday, April 29, 2017


I hear voices...
Each day as I walk to/from the office
I live vicariously through others. The
things one hears along the sidewalks
of Manhattan are usually anything but
pedestrian. One catches brief snippets
of conversations as you pass by. Taken
out of context, you've no idea what the
punch line truly is. Hence once they've
passed you by, you're left hanging. So
I complete their sentences in an attempt
connect their dots. Today I thought we'd
do just that together. So grab your #2
cyber pencil and let's fill in the blanks..
"I thought she wuz a lady.
 But I'm telling you - 
 she's nuthin' but a lousy whore!"

Obviously the lady in question ain't the
lady he thought she was... BUT WHY?

a) "She turned me down."
b) "I saw her on an episode of Cheaters."
c) "She's more than crabby."
d) "Anybody that good is no good."
e) "She turned me down dammit!"
f)   Skip to question four.

"That's right - 
 the moment I get into the office
 I'm telling them..."

What thrilling news will be revealed
at the water cooler or the boss's office?

a) "I quit you bastard."
b) "Why is he being paid more than me?"
c) "I'm pregnant with triplets."
d) "Either you tell your wife or it's over."
e) "I won Power Ball last night - BYE!"
f)   Not Applicable
"He may be old
 but trust me he knows what
 he's doing and then some!"

Don't you wonder what happened
to prove that age truly doesn't matter?

a) "Talk about stamina, four times."
b) "We shopped for hours at Bergdorf's."
c) "After all that, the pig made me pay!"
d) "He's an absolute genius."
e) "I can hardly walk..."
f)   None of the above.

"Once I finally figured it out - 
 I was as surprised as you were."

Fact is often stranger than fiction.
Once again, was the lady not the lady
everybody thought she was. Who knew?

a) "Suzie was Harry."
b) "But where did he hide his kielbasa?"
c) "He stole my Mother's recipe!"
d) "She was wearing the same dress as I."
e) "Can you believe she paid retail?!"
f)   Go back to question one.
"For real?!
 Are you sure of that?
 I didn't think that was possible!"

What amazing revelation was just shared?
Will it change somebody's life forever?!

a) "Two heads are better than one."
b) "They said threes a charm so why not?"
c) "Both stopped biting their nails."
d) "They sort of freaked me out"
e) "Their sheets were 1,000 thread count"
f)   All of the above.