Monday, September 29, 2014


City slickers
The other day was a damp one here
in Manhattan. Dodging drops made
me realize just how different our
lives are in rural Montana. For most
of us it's rare that one has to actually
brave the elements. Beyond running
to/from somewhere to get into one's
car, most of us are more than used
to staying dry. However that all
changes when you live within an
urban jungle. Most everyone walks
from here to there in the Big Apple
and when it rains we all get wet!
Under cover
Whoever invented the umbrella
should be canonized. Walking
under one's own tarp is bliss as
as long as there's no wind. It's
rather easy to get carried away
when one sports the equivalent
of a portable parachute down a
concrete canyon in Manhattan.
I marvel at fools who purchase
flimsy bumbershoots on street
corners. It's rare if they don't
invert within minutes only to
be tossed curbside in a heap!
Something this way comes
There is a code of the urban jungle
when it comes to wet weather. Said
law is simple - step lightly and carry
a big stick. You see, once the sky
opens it's virtually impossible to get
a cab. Therefore the sidewalks are
flooded with more than just water.
During times like these one is at risk
of being pushed, splashed, doused,
and poked. Therefore one must be
constantly aware of what others are
doing and more important on the
watch for errant flights of fancy.
Step aside
The only way to avoid getting wet is to
stay inside and many locals do just that.
However after paying a fortune for a
visit to New Amsterdam, most tourists
opt to tough it out. I only wish that their
voyeuristic inclinations would stay back
at their hotels. Instead they continue to
walk arm in arm down the sidewalk and
stop dead in their tracks without notice.
The only difference is that anybody who
is foolish enough to walk behind them
risks losing an eye or ruining a pair of
Guccis upon being thrown into a puddle.
Victim of circumstances
Excess agua can transform any corner
into a pit of despair. Seasoned citizens
know it's best to position oneself far
behind the line of fire given a passing
taxi or truck is sure to douse the front
row. During a dewy day it's important
to look before one leaps given there
may be an insurmountable moat
awaiting you at Fifty Fifth and Fifth.
And if one seeks shelter beneath a
scaffold be certain to watch for fools
with open umbrellas bouncing off
each other. It's a jungle out there!
What's new?
That said, there's nothing better than the
moments immediately after an urban
deluge. For a time all seems new. The
pavement is clean and the air is fresh.
Whatever is green is greener and many
don togs that counter the prior gloom.
For a few hours everyone smiles as the
sun shines down from high above. Then
the humidity hits as the thermometer
rises and soon all complain about how
"muggy" it is. New Yorkers are never
truly happy and thank God! That's why