I've lived through many "challenges" during my time here on earth. At this point of my life I'm ready to take on almost anything. As you know, I've hired a personal trainer to lead me through my self-improvement odyssey. It's a pricey proposition that will consume 120 minutes of my week. My decision to start this regimen was simple - I need to lose fifty pounds in order to look and feel better. While committed, I can't do it on my own. I need help!
Fortunately I found the perfect leader
for my journey and her name is Amanda.
Like an adult dealing with a naughty and
distracted toddler, she has the patience to
get me to next. While I want to look better, that is not what this is about. Somehow I know deep down that this experience will deliver so much more. Therefore I'm willing to learn, grow, stretch, press, sweat, ache, and LOSE!
To say I arrived at the gym this morning with trepidation would be beyond an understatement. Frankly I was terrified that I was going to be publicly tortured and mortified. Upon meeting Amanda face-to-face, her calm demeanor put me at ease. I suggested that my presence alone was a remarkable feat in and of itself. Therefore didn't that count as a first day workout? Amanda immediately laughed and quickly shifted my attention to doing a series of stretching exercises. Sometimes the simplest things are the hardest like touching one's toes with one's fingertips. It quickly became apparent that I am not limber. As a Taurus, flexibility is not my best suit. As an athlete, flexibility definitely does not come naturally. I am one stiff mess!
I'll drink to that!
As I was stretching, Amanda began to subtly weave in a series of questions about my eating and drinking habits. While a bit surprised about my daily vino intake (the end result of which was giggling before her), my new master negotiated a dramatic reduction down to one glass of wine per day. After my Lenten abstinence, I truly don't think that will be hard. While I certainly enjoy the feeling during consumption, I'd prefer to avoid that morning after feeling.
Since we're in this mess together, it's important that Amanda understands who I am. From the start I was clear that I loathe exercise and would need her to focus and motivate me. In addition that I'm also a wimp when it comes to anything strenuous. However with the proper handling, I'm actually willing to try anything. Finally at the right moment, I tipped my gay card. Amanda immediately lit up and released her inner "you go girl"!
There's a reason I picked a female trainer. That's because the last thing I need are distractions from my task at hand. Not only is staring at your trainer's ass unprofessional, it shifts one's focus away from what's truly important. Given my torso resembles a lava lamp, I prefer to avoid the locker room. The horror of hitting the showers amidst a sea of toned toffs is avoided given the Core Club is connected to my building. Post torture I can clean up at home in privacy. I'm doing everything possible to make this work. Keep your fingers crossed...