7th Day Surprise: The New Yorker

East or west... home is best!

While we adore living in Montana,

every once in awhile we feel the need

to return to our sweet spots.

Bemelman's

Black & Whites

Pratt

Patroon

Subways

Sarge's

Bergdorf Goodman

Barney's

WE LOVE NEW YORK!

STRAIGHT FROM THE HIP

Past imperfect
As it always has been, Manhattan is a
frenzied mix of the past, present, and
future. Constantly under construction,
all things new invariably usurp most
of what's old. Hence even if one has
been there, done that, all that one once
loved could be gone forever. Venturing
back to the scene of one's youth may
be illuminating, yet facing reality is
humbling. So far on this trip one thing
has been confirmed. And sadly that is
that I'm not HIP. Well, at least not in
the way that hipsters define being cool.

Private party
Our hotel is located next to the historic
Gramercy Park. For all of my life I've
wanted to enter that private jewel of a
green oasis. After we finally got a key,
we unlocked the gate and stepped into
the city's best kept secret. A verdant
vestige of times long gone. While our
hostelry is also deeply rooted in New
York's past, it's now considered one of
the city's most modern way stops. Each
night it transforms into a gathering spot
for the young and restless. Or as in our
case, the old and disenfranchised.

Down and out
Post nine p.m. the management dims
the lights, turns up the volume, ignites
a sea of candles, and blocks all forms
of access. Ominous gents clad head to
toe in black stand poised to insure that
only hipsters enter their inner sanctum.
Unlike those beefy bouncers at Studio
54 who judged those worthy enough
to dance under the moon, they're more
akin to secret service men. Yet in truth
they didn't scare us old guys given they
resembled recent high school graduates.
Talk about the blind leading the blind...

The dark side
As someone of an advanced vintage,
I absolutely appreciate low lighting.
There are few more beneficial ways
to mask the ravages of time. Which
is fine until one must find an elevator
call button that is hiding somewhere
within said black hole. Being forced
to grasp at shadows while bumping
into furniture isn't very cool. In fact
it's blatant age discrimination. If for
no other reason that such subterfuge
insures that we older folks lose our
way. Or give up and stay at home.

High and mighty
Manhattan has always been a bastion
of youth. A place where anybody with
guts, fortitude, and panache can make
their dreams come true. However the
older one gets, the more ruthless said
competitive arena becomes. Today it
seems that every young lady towers at
six feet while weighing twelve pounds.
Their male counterparts are equally as
skinny yet appear even taller. However
often said increased stature is due to an
unkempt man bun perilously perched
atop their head. How sexy is that?!

Comfort zone
Apparently an advanced state of
anorexia plus an overabundance
of hair defines what's hip. Hence
those who've gained girth, shrunk
with age, or lost hair are deemed
passe'. That explains why many
mature New Yorkers hibernate in
neighborhoods that are the urban
equivalent to adult communities.
For example, the Upper East Side.
There within matrons easily rise to
the occasion by wearing Belgian
shoes rather than six inch stilettos.

The end of the line
Coming to grips with the fact that one
is no longer cool is akin to a hot flash.
Bothersome yet familiar. Most of us
old folks learn a few lessons along the
way. Therefore we've no need to prove
ourselves. With age comes a level of
self confidence that few young folks
can even fathom. At this point we've
got nothing to prove. Having traveled
long and hard to get there - the only
hip I'm liable to still have may soon
be a candidate for replacement. And
if so, then that's just fine with me.

CROWD SOURCED

Open season
One of the most dramatic differences
between urban and rural life are the
people themselves. Within a crowded
metropolis theres no way to avoid a
chance encounter with other human
beings. Once out and about they're
everywhere. Add the fact that most
spend their days (and nights) traveling
afoot. Which makes it impossible to
not bump into someone. Rather than
being alone in the middle of no where
or traveling solo in their vehicle, each
and all begin and end the day en masse.

Mixed bags
Hence the intimacy of the metropolitan
existence creates the primary difference
between here and there. Having spent
most of my life in cities, it all feels very
natural. However being suddenly back
in the morass calls to mind a plethora
of factors that make city life exciting.
First and foremost there is the diversity
of the populace itself. All shapes, colors,
and creeds strive to survive as they strut
their stuff within this concrete jungle.
All navigating the challenges of life in
the city with dignity and aplomb.

Leaders of the pack
It's rather fun to watch the wealthy
navigate said public premise. Once
their hired cars pull up to their final
destination they must join the party.
Invariably hidden being sunglasses
and other paraphernalia, they step
out of their vehicles. Never looking
up from their mobile devices. Then
like rats attempting to traverse the
subway tracks, they wait until there
is an opening in the sea of humanity.
Only to quickly dart across and into
the waiting embrace of their doorman.

From the get go
One of my favorite times of the day is the
morning commute. Fresh faced from their
morning toilette, everyone seems ready to
face a new day. Neatly pressed with nary
a hair out of place they line up to grab a
coffee, paper, or cigarettes. In particular
I love watching the men. Close shaves,
combed coifs, polished shoes, starched
shirts, and a dose of bravado exude an
aura of optimism. Mix that with a dose
of working mom survival chic as they
drag their tots to school. And daily one
gets to see sartorial splendor on parade..

To each their own
The greatest dichotomy between urban
versus rural residents is that in the city
EVERYONE obviously puts thought
into how they look. In essence every
sidewalk is a catwalk. Within such a
competitive environment one is forced
to dress for their part. Given everyone
must jump into said stylistic melting pot
on a daily basis, it's fairly easy to watch
and learn. Thus with just a bit of thought
and a tad of effort any serf can dress as
if they rule the turf. That's the ultimate
manifestation of a fashion democracy.

Night shift
By the end of the day most worker bees
rejoin the evening exodus looking a bit
worse for the wear. Sodden, wrinkled,
and at times disheartened they rush home
to recoup what little time they have left.
Others do whatever it takes to renew their
perspective prior to leaving the office. In
the best of circumstances one showers at
the club, home, or gym. Resourceful
gentlemen simply don a new shirt. The
ladies update via a swath of lipstick,
fabulous earrings, and sexy shoes. All
enveloped in a fragrant puff of perfume.

Dress for success
They say that clothes make the man.
Here in the city that never sleeps
folks understand that perception is
reality. Therefore no matter the time
of day or night - they do their best to
look their best. Whereas back home
comfort usurps panache. Swimming
in a sea of mediocrity limits one's
ability to dream. Sans any element
of aspiration, there is little to look
forward to on a daily basis. If beauty
is in the eye of the beholder, why not
think before you get dressed?

What a difference a day makes...

Easy does it
The older one gets, the more sedentary
we tend to become. Much like that jar
of old honey or bottle of catsup, as we
get closer to our expiration date, all the
slower we move. Shifting out of one's
comfort zone is probably among the
most challenging aspects of maturity.
Not only is inertia easy, it's reassuring.
Thus while wisdom may accompany
age, it inevitably travels with the dullest
of companions... BOREDOM. Which is
why we all need to answer an occasional
wakeup call. It helps get things moving.

Basket case
Yesterday I was sitting at my desk minding
my own business. I'd just about finished my
morning pot of coffee. The next day's blog
was ready and waiting. Downstairs a load of
laundry was happily spinning to completion.
My in-box was clean as a whistle. Thus all
seemed to be right in my world. Then all of
a sudden an e-mail arrived. Instantaneously
my mundane existence went askew. There
before me lay the opportunity that required
I drop everything and fly to New York. It
was an offer I couldn't refuse and yet... that's
exactly what I wanted to do. But I didn't!

The road less traveled
Getting anywhere from central Montana
is daunting. However turning an itinerary
on a dime can be almost impossible. My
immediate reaction was "NO." However
deep down some inner voice screamed
"GO!" Suddenly I awoke from my semi-
comatose state and leapt into action. And
given theres nothing I like more than a
challenge I focused on solving the puzzle
of not only getting myself to the big city,
but Frank also. And miraculously, a few
hours later everything was arranged. All
that was left to do was pack on the fly!

Home sweet home
Timing is everything. And given we left
Lewistown in almost blizzard conditions,
we more than both needed a break. After
a day of travel we landed ready and able
to conquer the Big Apple. However any
attempts at heroics were puffery at best.
That's because we left one home for our
home away from home. Thus beyond us
having to quickly make arrangements, we
just as quickly traveled back to familiar
territory. So why did we make such a big
deal about traveling back to what must
be deemed just another comfort zone?

Familiar territory
Aside from making a new professional
connection, I've no intention of doing
much of anything out of the ordinary.
Hence Frank and I will hit our favorite
shops, museums, eateries, and the like.
In between we'll see a play or two. And
if I get my way, whatever we see will
be a revamped rerun of a proven hit.
One may ask why I stick to the same
old same old. The reason for going
back to the future is simply that after
two years away we just want to feel
like we're back where we belonged.

Extra ordinary
When's the last time you ran away from
home? Nothing makes you appreciate
what you've got like some time far away
from your home turf. Inevitably absence
truly does makes the heart grow fonder.
Thus as long as you've booked a round
trip ticket, escaping reality will simply
affirm how good your existence actually
is. So what are you doing this weekend?
Isn't it time that you broke all the tried
and true rules? Why not drop everything
and just get out of town?! Whatever it is,
do something different. GET MOVING!

REPEAT OFFENDERS

Hidden agendas 
Whenever someone opts to try and
hide something under their carpet,
chances are it's apt to get filthy. Thus
it's often advisable to air one's dirty
delicates as soon as possible rather
than attempt to conceal the obvious.
As is proven by recent revelations
related to a certain gentleman's taxes
(or lack thereof.) Once exposed, the
facts shocked many. However that's
not what surprised me. Rather it was
anybody in a highly visible spotlight
thinking they could ever keep a secret.

On a roll
Whatever drove such subterfuge, I'm fairly
certain that a high level of arrogance was
involved. You see, many of those now in
high places have gotten there by pushing
their way to the top. Posturing against all
odds tends to be their preferred fasttrack to
upward mobility. Some of whom have said
that the more a lie is repeated, the sooner it
is deemed fact versus fiction. Hence there
is a reason why some powerful people are
beyond delusional. In their minds the truth
is of absolutely NO consequence. Well,
at least no as long as they say it isn't so.

Bully pulpit
Go ahead - stop and think about it.
Imagine feeling so self important
that you assume everyone believes
whatever you say. As long as you
say so frequently and emphatically.
Such an empirical stance requires
a level of bravado that only a few
can muster. Especially given what
is being espoused as reality is in
fact perceptual deception. Yet most
are more than willing to ingest any
garbage thrown their way. Which
fuels what some consider trash talk.

Funny papers
Are we really that naive? As I've watched
the political debacle unfold - what's been
most amazing is the blatant lies that many
Americans recklessly spread at will. Sadly
we seem to be so disenfranchised that we
freely transmit undocumented data picked
up via Facebook links rather than trust our
proven, reliable media sources. Whoever
came up with the idea of demonizing our
most viable purveyors information had to
be most beyond brilliant. Sans society's
traditional fact checks, anybody can now
ignorantly, publicly, and boldly lie at will.

Back at you
That said, theres always karma. Meaning
that ultimately, the truth will inevitably
be told. And those who have previously
been at best deceitful will be caught in
their lies. The good news is that what goes
around comes around. However that rarely
happens in the most timely of manners. My
hope is that recent events indicate a full
circle shift back to accountability. And
that as history has proven time and again,
the facts will usurp any and all deception,
rumors, or innuendo. Enough foolishness.
Remember that the truth will set you free!

DID YOU SAY SNOW?!

GOTCHA!
They say that the winner takes all.
However coming in first isn't always
rewarding. As of late last night we
were forecasted to see our first snow
since... well the first week of May.
For the next few days our low will
be somewhere in the high twenties.
Which reinforces the fact that prime
gardening season in Montana lasts
about five months. Thus if nothing
else such a brief interlude causes one
to appreciate the here and now given
quickly it is obviously over and out!

Fall from grace
Bouts of snow aside, October in central
Montana can be beyond glorious. Crystal
clear blue skies insure that we continue to
enjoy the sun's warm rays. Post the first
few frosts, there are no bugs nor pollen.
Making it the perfect time to head outdoors
and have some fun or prepare for the winter.
Within a few days the trees will have shed
all of their leaves. Yet Frank's garden is still
filled with carrots, beets, and greens ready
to be picked. So we've plenty of work to do
while the sun still shines. That plus raking
leaves and getting ready for the deep freeze.

White out
I must admit that I'm looking forward
to another winter in Montana. Like
everywhere else we'll be consumed
with holiday preparations up to the
new year. One can also safely assume
that like most of the rest of you - we'll
be more than glad when November 8th
has come and gone. After the political
turmoil settles down, we're all going to
need some time to reflect. And that's
what winter is all about here in rural
Lewistown. No wonder I can't wait to
be snowed in for a couple of months!

Behind closed doors
One can but pity those who have to live
year round in warmer climates. Beyond
bouts of endless rains their seasons tend
to blend into one never-ending numbing
nirvana. And frankly, higher temps are
not all sunshine and lollipops. One has
only to survive a summer in Dallas or
Miami to understand that paradise isn't
always the most livable of locales. Their
summer is the equivalent of our winter.
Meaning that much like us, they spend
several months trapped within climate
controlled environments. BORING...

Oh... the chill of it all
So why do most Montanans look forward
to spending about seven months indoors?
Well, first of all theres always the view.
Little could be as beautiful than looking
out upon a central Montanan countryside
covered in white. Given the majority of
our winter days are blindingly sunny, it's
easy to maintain a bright outlook. Rarely
does our thermometer dip far below zero.
And given our relatively low humidity,
the cold never feels as frigid as a damp
November day in Manhattan. Thus winter
is absolutely my favorite season bar none.

Comfort and joy
Much like everything else in life, one's
circumstances are what they make of
them. Hence there are unhappy people
everywhere no matter the weather. The
best thing about cold weather is that it
provides ample time for introspection.
Little is as affirming as sitting before a
warm fire with  a glass of wine. Except
possibly sharing an evening of comfort
food and fellowship with friends and
family. So rather than lament summer's
demise, I'm happy to be amongst the
first to "chill." LET IT SNOW!

The fall of western civilization

Closer than you think
Living in the boonies can in theory leave
one bereft of the trappings of civilization.
However in our modern cyber world one
can access anything and everything 24/7.
The difference between one westerner or
another is whether they're open minded
or not. I'm not talking about liberal versus
conservative. But rather about those who
are constantly open to learning new things
versus those who think they've no need for
further adult education. In other words -
anybody who willingly pursues edification
versus one who opts out of further growth.

Path of least resistance
In truth there is no valid excuse for a lack
of awareness. All one has to do is look,
listen, and learn. You see, inspiration and
edification awaits around every corner.
Hence it really doesn't matter where you
live. Rather it's all about HOW you live.
The major difference between here and
there is that one must hunt and peck a
bit more for the new and unique way out
west where the antelope roam. Therefore
it's much the same as Manhattan.  That's
because one can choose to opt out of
continuing education wherever they live.

Equal opportunity
Most of us aren't rocket scientists. Yet we
quickly realize that "one size fits all" can't
work with human beings. Thus embracing
to each their own is preferable. Which is
why a true democracy inspires the best in
all of us. This country was founded on a
premise of equality. Establishing a level
playing field facilitates FREEDOM. Thus
in such a context we're all free to pursue
our dreams as we see them. And even if
we don't agree, our democracy provides
an open forum for ALL to say it like it
is from our individual perspectives.

Against all odds
At times the American experience can be
challenging. However inevitably it seems
that we overcome each and every obstacle.
Thus I'm considering this election cycle
a new phase of my learning curve. While
swamped by a tsunami of hate, prejudice,
and paranoia - I'm reminded that even if
evil lurks within the hearts of many of my
fellow Americans - that isn't a bad thing.
"Better the enemy you know" is a vivid
reminder that each of us are free to pursue
what we consider the truth. Which time
has proven just might SET US FREE.

Safety in numbers
Could it be that the best of times are
when our collective melting pot seems
more like a cess pool?  Said menacing
melange could possibly be the ultimate
expression of a democracy at work. A
visceral discourse causes one to refine,
strengthen, and focus their individual
perspective. Thus an "idiot" spewing
poison plays a valuable role in your
decision process. Their mania affirms
your sanity. Empowering each of us to
learn from each other. And what could
be more AMERICAN than that?!