Saturday, November 26, 2016


He's making a list
For most this Thanksgiving weekend is the
official launch of the holidays. Yesterday
marked just a month until the twenty fifth.
Hence many are suddenly thrust into a time
crunch frenzy. Frankly I rather resent being
forced to be festive. All of the stress plus
endless "to do's" make it hard to enjoy what
the season is really all about. However like
it or not, theres really no way that one can't
be swept up in the tinsel tsunami. Thus I'm
resigned to do whatever it takes to celebrate
the last month of this year that many of us
prefer to deny ever happened. Over and out!
Time to shine
Part of me loves this initial purgatorial state
of the season. For many reasons most of us
have deferred our holiday responsibilities
until now. Gifts aside, my list is filled with
all sorts of tasks. Given we decorate fresh
not faux it's too early to deck the halls. Yet
there's plenty to do. One of my least favorite
yet most gratifying tasks is polishing the
silver. If one is going to glitter and be gay,
it's important to shine. I think there is little
as festive than an array of perfectly polished
goodies. Hence the first job my list is buffing
up everything in the house except... myself.
Lighten up
Next comes the chandeliers. Given much of
our family will be sitting under their glow
this Christmas Day it's important to reflect
on the season. That means pulling out the
Windex and wiping away a year of candle
soot, dust, and grime. After a bit of elbow
grease they'll sing for our supper. How do
I do it? I simply lay down a plastic table
cloth upon the dining table and then cover
it with newspaper. Then liberally spritz the
glitz allowing any excess to drip upon said
launching pad. After that brief splash I then
wipe down each crystal with a paper towel.
Straighten out
The older one gets the get the more we forget.
Hence one doesn't want to be caught short by
an error in judgment. That's why I always do
a test run of my holiday tablecloth prior to the
big day. Many things seem to be shrinking -
including me. Therefore it's best to make sure
your linens fit the occasion. We'll be hosting
sixteen this year so I'll need to maximize my
linear feet. And the last thing I want is to be
put in a pressing situation. Thus it's smart to
straighten up all you'll need for the big event
NOW. Trust me, you'll be happy you ironed
the situation out well in advance. Press on!
Pour it on
Better safe than sorry. That's why I always
conduct a thorough inventory of my liquid
assets. Providing ample lubrication during
the holiday season keeps things flowing in
the right direction. Therefore if you haven't
already, order an extra case or two of vino
just in case. However one's family gets off,
insuring theres sufficient self medication is
a guarantee of a relative harmony. Maybe
that's why most local purveyors of spirits
are always quite busy this time of the year.
The more you buy, the higher the odds are
in your favor. Consider it event insurance!
Tally ho ho ho
As we count the days till Christmas it's wise
to count your blessings. As most of you may
know, this Santa loves to set a proper table.
Yet when challenged with feeding a dozen
or more mouths around one's rectangle, it's
every host for himself! In order to serve a
meal one must have enough plates, glasses,
and utensils. Thus it's smart to plot out each
course before you actually dish it out. Given
I love to mix and match we've lots of options.
However that said, it's better to know where
you're down for the count well in advance.
That's how to set yourself up for success!
Make up
If guests are soon to arrive, it's best to
prepare their way now. Make their bed
so that they can lie in it immediately
upon arrival. Provide basic toiletries
in case they forgot something. Offer
up an assortment of current magazines
to keep them occupied in their rooms
rather than in your hair. Most important
cook up a storm before they arrive. An
ample supply of prepared dishes means
you can pop lovin' in the oven no matter
what happens. Remember, the way to
their hearts is through their stomachs!
Be prepared 
Most important, try to relax. Ready or not
the holidays will soon be here. Therefore
rather than drive yourself crazy, go with
the flow. After all we've already got more
than enough to worry about. Given our
world may change dramatically after the
inauguration it's best to smell the balsam
while you may. In the end the greatest gift
one can give to themselves and others is
to simply enjoy the moment. Hence use
this in between time wisely so that by the
time your family finally arrives, it can be
all about them and not you! Ho ho GO!