Tuesday, August 30, 2016

But who knows wear or... when?

Ugly Americans
Recently the Washington Post strayed from
it's typical political news to a topic of much
greater importance. An in-depth article that
covered the crisis confronting American
women on a daily basis. The evil that lurks
within America's malls - "UGLY" apparel
that "DOESN'T FIT." While this may not
seem to be of the upmost importance, the
fact is we are what we wear. And given no
excuse to indulge in a new ensemble, most
women are opting to travel elsewhere or
buy some new sort of gadget rather than
enter a dressing room. They've given up.
From rack to ruin
One could blame the runway. For years
nothing truly alluring has strutted down
that straight and narrow path to retail
revenue. Given the choice or wrestling
the racks only to come up with nothing,
American women prefer to shop their
closets and vintage stores. Part of their
challenge is not style - but rather it's the
quality and fit that lack. For many reasons
top specialty retailers - experts in the art
and science of fashion - seem unable to
craft clothes the fit real people. Hence
they sit en masse in clearance purgatory.
Dress for success
It's important to note that few consumers
are willing to pity major fashion retailers
Even less shoppers are willing to waste
their valuable time and hard earned cash
only to end up empty handed. Rather than
be fashion victims of sad circumstances -
most women are opting to don whatever
makes them feel and look good. Which
often means that they must work with
whatever they've got. Hence few women
if any are willing to hunt and peck for the
fashion equivalent of a unicorn - a pretty
frock that actually fits. Imagine that...
Guilty as charged
Shopping for apparel was once America's
favorite sport. However within the past
decade our options for entertainment have
expanded far beyond those skylit temples
of consumption better known as malls.
Post grabbing a spot in the lot or sushi at
the food court, few experience success. In
theory the process of procurement is ALL
about instantaneous gratification. Yet most
shoppers seem to exit said premises sans
bags in hand. Hence why should anyone
subject themselves to torture with almost
no possibility of a positive outcome?!
Double indemnity
The past two days we've been taking the
waters at a nearby resort. Watching our
fellow escapees, one thing is obviously
apparent. They have unequivocally given
up. Every man, woman, and child sported
the same stylistic components with NO
differentiating features. Hence the ladies
seemed happy wearing the same cargo
shorts, tees, fleece, and caps as their
fathers, husbands, or sons. Therefore
in my opinion, even if said ensembles
are deemed "comfortable," they're not
recommended for human consumption.
Wear are you?
Knowing that we all sneak an occasional
peek in the mirror, one wonders what we
really think. If we're honest, who looks
good when dressed like some slob? Few
if any of us want to blend en masse into
a slovenly sea of sartorial defeat. Thus if
given the chance I'm certain that almost
every lady would prefer to look and feel
their best. Therefore I concur with the
Washington Post's suggestion that the
root of our style evils are fashion shops
who simply don't get us. Is this rocket
science or have they simply LOST IT?!
Closet case
While I am most definitely not a lady,
I do consider myself to be a fashionable
fellow. With age my body has assumed
altered proportions that if nothing else
make me feel quite uncomfortable. The
key elements of a male wardrobe rarely
change dramatically. However the fit
or tailoring thereof has most definitely
downsized. Hence as my girth grew, my
options shrank. No wonder I prefer to
shop my closet and grab an old Ralph
Lauren cashmere cable knit! Especially
when it's label reads "M" and still fits!
Give the lady what she wants
The challenge of every fashion retailer
is daunting. Not only must they craft
togs that enhance our outlook - they're
tasked with creating the motivation to
purchase new apparel rather than simply
replenish basics. Thus allure remains
their greatest challenge. Nothing is as
intoxicating as discovering some self
indulgent tidbit that demands you take
it home. However after years of abuse
few of us are willing to risk defeat.
And so... at least for now we all must
make do with what we've got or not!