Tuesday, August 19, 2014


Ever since the recent controversy over
our errant priest's erroneous actions, my
blog, facebook pages, and e-mail have
been flooded with many questions and
new friends. The overwhelming majority
of newcomers have been supportive and
"straight." Many voicing your anger over
what is obviously an unfair action against
seemingly innocent people. However, it
appears that some of you are confused.
Hence I feel the need to provide some
clarity around gay terminology. Don't
worry... this won't hurt a bit!
Any group that is statistically NOT the
majority. An anomaly that by it's very
nature is abnormal, out of the ordinary.
Throughout history minority status has
shifted along with cultural philosophy.
In many cases legislation was required
to facilitate integrating said groups into
the greater, homogenous whole. Often
racially oriented, minority status depends
on where one is at the time. If Chinese
in Lewistown, you're a minority. But if
you're a Montanan Lesbian in Beijing,
you're definitely a fish out of water!
Someone who is naturally attracted
to someone who is a member of the
same sex. This genetic condition is
a rare phenomena that impacts less
than three percent of the population.
Historically attributed to bad parenting
or a sinful nature, in reality it is innate,
part of one's DNA. Therefore nobody
can "catch it" nor is it anybody's fault.
If given a choice, few would opt to be
a minority which is maligned, attacked,
and often pitied. Given homosexuals
have no choice - we're here and queer!
"L" is for Lesbian - girls who love
girls. "G" is for Gay - boys who
prefer boys. "B" is for Bisexual -
or in my opinion... confused. "T"
is for Transgendered - girls who
are really boys or boys who are
really girls. The above melange
of minorities have been gathered
into one large cohesive social and
political group. However  it's rare
that they mix except at festivals,
events, or an annual Human Rights
Commission Awards dinner.
Any individual who is maligned,
imprisoned, or attacked for what
is a natural part of their being is
inclined to hide. Growing up in
a society where the word "gay"
meant "happy" - I had no idea why
I felt the way I did. All I knew was
it was "wrong." So I buried it deep
and did everything possible to be
normal. A wife and four children
later, my efforts at normality failed.
When I figured out that I could no
longer hide - I found happiness!
A public demonstration of LGBT
solidarity. Most are held annually
in large urban centers down a major
boulevard within the "gayto" (Gay
Ghetto). Many LGBT people have
an aversion to such an overt exercise
of the extremes of our orientation.
Yet this event is proof that America
is still the land of the free. So while
I personally abhor rainbow flags,
sequined thongs, and tasseled pasties,
I'm thankful that whoever wants to
can safely strut their stuff in public!
A place where people of a similar
orientation can gather to meet and
socialize. While alcohol is often
served, bottled water seems to be
the beverage of choice. For many
years Gay Bars were a refuge from
prejudice and hate. For generations,
they were the only venue where gay
men and women could be openly gay.
In a world where few of our ilk were
accepted, these hostelries provided
a haven to meet and occasionally
fall in love. I met Frank at Sidetrack.
The magical union of two souls. More
often than not, dramatically different
individuals join to create an exotic and
unique concoction that is more powerful
than either alone. The resulting balance
enables two to become ONE. A highly
personal and hence rare phenomena,
there is no prescribed recipe for success.
Who, how or why one falls in love occurs
via a natural, chemical reaction. In the end
who you choose to love and adore is your
decision alone. Even if most of the world
disagrees... when it's right, it's amazing!
A connection between two people.
Whether verbal, emotional, or legal,
it's purpose is to establish a long
term relationship. To maintain a
partnership built on faithfulness
and fidelity. Such a non binding
agreement has been the only option
for LGBT couples.Yet fighting a
a legal system that punishes us for
joining forces actually makes our
bond stronger. After nineteen years
I can assure you that Frank and I
are as committed as we can be.
A legal and religious form of commitment
that until recently was only available to
heterosexual couples. In essence this form
of legally binding agreement allows two
individuals to publicly state that they are
joined and hence ONE. Along with said
action the couple is awarded legal rights
and benefits. At one time it was illegal for
couples of different races to marry. Some
church doctrine prohibits "intermarriage"
between those of disparate faiths. I hope
that someday, ALL Americans will have
the right to marry whoever they want.
The ability to be who you are and do
what is natural within the context of
a legal and social system that benefits
ALL. When I lived a heterosexual life,
any barriers to happiness and success
where personal, not legislated. Sadly
once I publicly embraced being Gay,
innate human rights that I had enjoyed
prior were instantly taken way. Recent
events indicate that an arrogant young
man (who could be my son) still has the
power to negatively impact my existence.
Somehow that just doesn't seem fair.