Saturday, August 2, 2014

All that I ask for is a little...

Barking up the wrong tree
For several years there has been one
gift on my list that has NEVER been
delivered. Try as I might, for many
reasons a dog has not been under the
Christmas tree nor hidden in the closet
for my birthday. Frankly it baffles me
as to why everybody else thinks a pup
is a bad idea except me. After all, now
that I'm "retired," I've got the time and
resolve to care for a pooch. Even more
important, I simply want to be loved
unconditionally and nobody does that
better than man's best friend!
Come to poppa
I don't want just any canine. The dog
of my dreams is a miniature french
bulldog. While certainly the current
breed du jour, I think they're more
than simply a gay cliche. When I look
into their scrunched up faces, all I see
is LOVE! Somehow I connect with
these squat, bow legged creatures.
Like little old men they strut around
as if they own the place. While petite,
they exude a confidence that makes
them the perfect pet for a rather high
strung former urbanite. Woof woof!
The ultimate pickup
I've tried everything from demands to
begging but to no avail. For several
years the excuse was I couldn't have
a dog due to my career and traveling.
Now that I'm home full-time, that's
no longer relevant. My beloved has
suggested I may be a bit irresponsible.
However I'm fairly certain that's based
on his fear of being left holding the poo
poo shovel. Nothing could be farther
from the truth. I'm ready to assume all
responsibility for a third man at home.
And when shit happens, I'll pick it up!
Walk this way
I know being a pet owner is not easy
but I'm ready to follow wherever he
wants to go. I've already named him
"Percy" and yes, that's slightly GAY.
Yet somehow it fits my fantasy of the
perfect furry friend. Percy must be a
dark cocoa or golden caramel. Both
work with our decor and any shedding
will blend in. More than a decorative
accessory, a well behaved pooch will
welcome our guests. After all isn't it
time we made the Passion pit a home?
I'm ready to unleash my inner owner!
My lord and master
I really shouldn't complain given
that I want for nothing. After all
I already have more than enough
companionship, unconditional
love, and happiness! While I think
that a dog might bring even more
of that, do I really need one? The
truth is I already have a best friend
in Frank. Nobody could be a more
loyal or trusted companion. And
he's always ready to take a walk
or snuggle. Who knows... maybe
three really would be a crowd?