Saturday, July 19, 2014

Time to mow the lawn

Between here and there
I promise, this is the final chapter of
my cleaning tirade... Right now the
Passion Pit exterior is still a "before"
picture. Last week our team started on
the transformation. Soon what was the
ugliest house in Lewistown will be a
showcase. Meanwhile our exterior
elevation is in a state of limbo. This
rather purgatorial place doesn't require
anything more than patience. However,
the grass is always greener because...
it continues to grow no matter what
one's priorities may be. Mow me over!
Not for me
I've never been a lawn guy. For many
reasons I find the idea of trimming the
earth's follicles a rather boring process.
Fortunately I've spent many years living
in the city or condominiums meaning
that my need to tend Mother Nature's
bounty was nonexistent. The only time
I ever communed with her was if I over
watered one of my orchids. Otherwise
I'm proud to have a brown thumb and
frankly have no interest in developing
any latent tendril tendencies that may
lurk deep within. Fertile I am not!
Green with envy
On the other hand, Frank is the
consummate gardener. Years ago
he took over his father's garden
at the family ranch. While Dad
maintained a massive plot, Frank
started small and subsequently it
expanded. Given our climate, the
season starts late, ends early. So
in order to indulge Frank's inner
farmer we built a green house.
Within it's hot and fetid interior,
he's able to grow exotic edibles
that can't survive outside!
Mow me over!
Don't assume I haven't had responsibility
for large lawns at certain points in life.
Outside of Chicago we had a big yard
with a steep slope. At that point in life
I couldn't afford to hire help so, up and
down I would go pushing my mower.
You see a ride on wouldn't work on that
incline! In rural Michigan we tended four
acres. Initially I tried to do it myself. If
we missed a weekend, it became a jungle
out there! Fortunately a mouse nibbled
on my ride-on wires. Just the excuse to
hire someone to tend the turf. Ride on!
Splendor in the grass
One of the residual benefits of having
a lawn man around the house is that
usually they are more than HOT. Plus
it gets quite hot during those summer
days. Hence the need for said studs to
remove their shirts. We have a lawn
jockey here in Lewistown who is drop
dead gorgeous. One of our friends calls
her girlfriends the second he starts to
tread on her turf. Soon a gaggle of gals
gather to watch him strut his stuff as
he mows row by row. Proof that the
grass is greener whenever he mows!
Some body's got to do it
At the Passion Pit we lack the interest and
inclination to mow our lawn. Given we do
not yet have a plan for the future, we're not
ready to purchase any piece of machinery.
So we're perfectly happy to let somebody
else grope our greens. Fortunately Frank
found a gentleman who's a teacher most
of the year and a lawn man all summer.
This win/win situation means he earns a
bit of the green stuff and we avoid having
to tussle with any tundra. For now we're
working on finding a landscape designer.
Don't you wonder what spring will bring?