Wednesday, April 9, 2014

Who has time for this?

About to expire
Gone are the days when I was a dew
kissed youth. At this point I am now a
fully confirmed curmudgeon. Whether
I'm older and wiser, or aged and bitter,
one thing is certain. This package has a
bold and clearly defined expiration date
for PATIENCE. More and more I find
that I'm less and less willing to wait for
somebody to slowly do something that
could be accomplished in half the time.
Given my body clock is ticking, why
waste precious time on the mundane?
I've got things to do so STEP ON IT!

A la carte
Gone are the days where one savored
a long and languorous repast. Little
irritates me more than the ritual of the
tasting menu. Pomposity aside, why
can't they dish it out and be done with
it? Instead guests must suffer through
laborious details of each ingredient.
Aren't recipes the bailiwick of chefs?
If so, keep it in the kitchen! Add a
tedious diatribe about wine pairings
and who wouldn't be forced to drink?!
Food is food and even more important
booze is booze. KEEP IT SIMPLE!

Focus... please!
Gone are the days when one chatted
about the weather with a sales clerk
at Barneys. That may be just fine in
Mayberry but honestly Andy don't
you have something more important
to do? I've become my mother and
my wish is that people would simply
do what they're required to do. Why
waste my time and prattle on about
some football game? Can't we get
the job done and then get on with
our lives?! In this case it's all about

Give the lady what she wants
Gone are the days when a customer's
feelings were considered. Part of my
issue is that it's all so presumptuous.
When did it become all about YOU?
It's within my rights to be anti social
and maintain proper decorum rather
than be chums. Whatever my priorities,
if your job is to serve then your agenda
must be is my agenda. So please, get on
with it and stop wasting my time trying
to make this more than it really should
be. Your job is your job and that's all!

The line starts here
Gone are the days when I was considered
the nice guy. One may read my ramblings
and assume that I'm an arrogant snob. The
fact is my parents raised me to be a kinder
and gentler gentleman. When conducting
a transaction I use the appropriate niceties.
My issue is that my courteous query - "How
are you" is just that, a courtesy. It is not an
open door to personal insights that are better
kept at home. And please gents, if you're on
the prowl, don't even try. It's inappropriate
even if this old queen is somewhat flattered
by the attention! TOW THE LINE BOYS!

Job description
Gone are the days when our lives had
a sense of cultural context. Today our
roles and responsibilities have blurred
into an amorphous mess. It was easy
when we each had a role to play with
rules to guide us. No surprises, few
hassles, no burdens. Someone along
the way deigned it all inappropriate.
The result is that all of this familiarity
has bred contempt in this man's soul.
I just want my life to be simple and to
get in and out as quickly as possible!