Wednesday, January 4, 2017

My how you've grown...

Theory of relativity
It's funny how our perspective on life changes
as we age. When one is in grade school the
very idea of interacting with someone a year
or two younger is taboo. Whereas in college
nothing seems sexier than bagging a hot senior
or even better... the distinguished professor.
By the time one hits their fifties age simply
doesn't matter. Hence the older we get the
more irrelevant one's vintage becomes. Well,
at least to us old folks! The same theory seems
to apply to almost everything in adulthood.
As an innocent youth I was quite opinionated.
Whereas today... my motto is anything goes!
Age before beauty
With age should come wisdom. However in
my experience most males continue to think
with their... compromised accoutrements.
Case in point is the infamous trophy wife.
During our tenure in Dallas we became very
comfortable with ancient gentlemen in the
company of ladies aged the equivalent of
their grandchildren. While I'm certain that
having a hottie on one's arm arouses one's
senses, I can't imagine what they talk about
once the Viagra wears off. Whereas I prefer
the company of those with a bit of mileage.
After all practice make perfect!
Scales of justice
Let's be honest. Most of the benefits due to
acquired wisdom outweigh any challenges
related to one's continuing adult education.
However the idea of embracing the physical
impact that age has upon us is bothersome
at best. Why would one assume that they
should weigh in at the same amount as age
eighteen? Yet that's what every fashionista
strives for. Some say "better to die young,
thin, and tan." All quite achievable with the
help of cigarettes, starvation, and assorted
chemical additives. However who is dumb
enough to bet on odds against their favor?!
Fool's gold
At some point we all accept whatever assets
and liabilities that come with longevity. No
matter how much La Mer one slathers on,
the only thing guaranteed to be soft are our
multiple chins. While our closets are full of
vestments of the past, it's highly doubtful
we'll ever don said frocks again - even if
one could squeeze into them. What's done
is done. Hence what's past is past. So help
me understand why most of us can't seem
to get past the facts? Rather than embrace
reality we cling onto preconceived notions
about ourselves. Who are we trying to fool?!
More or less?
With this new year I'm going to once again
attempt to lose some weight. Yet the older
one gets the harder it is to alter our natural
instincts. Frankly I'm not sure that I embrace
the idea of NOT doing what comes naturally.
I know exactly what I like, want, and need.
Therefore continuously battling my natural
instincts seems a futile exercise at best. Is
there anything noble in abstaining from that
second Manhattan, taking a cab, or ordering
dessert? Is this world a better place when we
simply do whatever makes us happy? At this
point in life what are we trying to prove?
Leap of faith
Given everyone around me seems resolved to
do something different I've decided to join the
pack. So here is my New Year's resolution -
heard me right, whether it's theoretically good
or bad for me doesn't matter. All that's really
important is that I go with the flow, capitalize
on the moment at hand, and enjoy whatever
time I've got left. Whether that seems decadent,
indulgent, or foolhardy is none of your concern.
All that I ask is that you indulge me and keep
your opinions to yourselves. My 2017 credo is