As I shop up and down my local grocery
store aisle in preparation for Thanksgiving,
I can't help but marvel at how different our
feast will be from others. The aisle end caps
are loaded up with what most consider key
holiday staples. It's obvious that the masses
prefer mass processed foods, none of which
will find a place on our table. Is this culinary
schism proof of "us and them". How did our
tried and true traditions end up so different?
Our family loves an array of cheeses.
The stinkier and odder, the better!
Processed
An orb of processed dairy product rolled in
chopped pecans seems to be America's fave.
Whether made in a Hickory Farms factory
or hand crafted at home, this smooth and
savory cheese product spreads easily onto
one's Townhouse, Ritz, or Wheat Thin!
No better way to have a BALL this holiday!
As previously noted, our turkey is fresh.
While not organic, it will be free range
with no hormones or antibiotics.
Frozen
For most a rock hard Butterball is the
ultimate! While my favorite part of a
turkey is the dark meat, many seem to
have an aversion for the moistest and
tastiest part of the bird. Therefore some
simply serve just the turkey breast. One
can even serve a pre-cooked Butterball.
And some have even foisted a tofurkey
on unsuspecting guests. FOWL PLAY!
I've decided to make classic Chestnut Dressing.
The perfect accompaniment to our fresh fowl.
Stuffing
For some there is nothing better than a hot
hump of steaming Stove Top Stuffing Mix.
Most Americans prefer to not stuff their bird.
Instead they simply open a box, boil the
pouch contents, add seasoned bread cubes,
and serve a savory slew of carbohydrates!
This is the STUFF memories are made of.
I peel, boil, and mash my taters with tons,
I repeat tons of butter and heavy cream.
Whipped
We're all busy. If you're exhausted or lazy,
there is nothing easier than a big box of
Hungry Jack potatoes. Simply add hot water
and margarine to create a portion of potato
potion. What was once dehydrated dust will
be reconstituted into silky smooth spuds.
WHIP up some love this Thanksgiving!
I plan to oven roast organic ruby yams and
serve them smothered in imported Irish butter.
Candied
Apparently many homes will be dishing up a
heaping portion of canned yams combined
with canned mixed fruit, and topped with
melted mini marshmallows. What better way
to mask any nutritional benefit of vegetables?
Plus, if you run out of pumpkin pie, these are
the perfect back up! HOW SWEET IT IS!
What is easier than boiling fresh cranberries
in sugar and water then cooling to gel?
Canned
Well... actually... most of America prefers to
open a can and watch the strained cranberry
sauce goodness slide out. I must admit I do
love a tangy circular slice of congealed cran
puree. Some households pride themselves on
having special glass plates that perfectly hold
a horizontal ribbed log of jellied goodness.
This is one grocery store end cap that I will
actually grab a few cans from! What could be
more fun than having a FRUIT at your table!
At our house, Brussels Sprouts will be
oven roasted with imported pancetta.
Then drizzled with organic maple syrup.
Baked
One of the most popular of Thanksgiving
traditions is any version of the green bean
casserole. Canned or frozen "french cut"
green beans are combined with canned
Campbell's Cream of Mushroom soup and
then topped with canned Onion Rings. This
is one beloved casserole that frankly I just
don't understand. However why not try
something new this holiday? MIX IT UP!
Due to limited kitchen facilities, we're
having someone bake our pies this year.
However they will be topped with fresh,
hand whipped organic cream.
Faux
It's fascinating to see how many people
grab a pumpkin or apple pie off the table
at the grocers. While mass produced they
are not that bad. What amazes me that
rather than grab a can of Rediwhip, many
prefer to spoon Cool Whip from a tub.
No matter the froth, one must be thankful
for a host who WHIPS IT OUT.
