Friday, November 1, 2013

Mercury in retrograde?!

Watch out
Is it me or is everybody in a dither?!
Our collective excuse seems to be
something to do with Mercury being
in retrograde. Whether you believe that
sort of stuff or not, something bigger
than all of us seems to be pushing us all
over the edge. To help you weather the
storm, I thought I'd provide information
and advice on how to stay out of trouble.
Whatever you do, do nothing!
Step back
Mercury is in retrograde October 21st
through November 10th. As the sun
moves through the zodiac, Mercury's
orbit periodically moves ahead of the
sun, appearing to move in reverse. In
theory that inertia causes confusion.
On the first and last days it may be
better to stay in bed at home. Post the
tenth, it still could be a tad dicey as
we'll remain in Mercury's shadow until
November 27th. If you believe any of
this, that means you'll have a reason to
be thankful on Thanksgiving Day!
Sit tight
This backward planetary force
creates a period of retrospection.
Rear momentum puts us all in
limbo providing a few weeks to
reconsider, re-evaluate, reorganize,
renovate, and reinvent. Those
rather sedentary (stubborn) earth
signs of Capricorn, Taurus (moi),
and Virgo are most affected by
this fall's retrograde. No bull!
Think first
Confused times can confuse.
So, before you do anything,
make sure you really need to
do it. Prior to hitting send on
that incendiary e-mail, stop,
pause, and reflect. Rather than
give an ultimatum, step back,
regroup, calm down, and wait!
Drop it
If you're inking any piece of paper, wait to seal the deal. If you absolutely must sign on the dotted line, hire the smartest people possible to advise you and LISTEN. Most important, do not initiate and/or complete any new contracts until AFTER the tenth. The fact is you're not thinking straight so why invest in anything you might regret on the eleventh?
Take care
If you're considering any elective surgery, wait until this mess is over. A few more days with those crows feet is not as bad as a botched face lift. Better to have both ears in their proper place than rush into the operating suite when the planets aren't properly aligned. Simply avoid danger.
Go solo
Whatever you do, don't get married until after the tenth. Why start things off on the wrong foot? Better to wait until the dust settles and then enjoy the orange blossoms. It's probably safe to bet that at least one of Elizabeth Taylor's or Zsa Zsa Gabor's nuptuals occurred when Mercury was in retrograde. When it comes to matters of the heart, wait awhile.
Slow down
All the planetary experts advise us to avoid technology - specifically anything mechanical. While I'm not quite sure why, I'm certainly not planning to tempt fate by operating a drill press while in pig tails any time soon. I suggest you do the same and delay purchasing a new car, computer, or cell phone until mid November at the earliest!
Stay home
Do not travel if possible. If one
must journey, make sure you
leave plenty of time for missed
connections. The crazy clock is
ticking so please be patient. No
need to go postal at the airport.
The fact is everyone including
you and that idiot behind the
desk is totally screwed!
Be careful
While I could not find any stats,
it's said that there are more auto
accidents when Mercury is in
retrograde. Apparently all minds
are on anything but the road.
That guy speeding towards you
is equally distracted. So rather
than bend your fender, why not
take the bus or subway!?
Fast forward
1934 was the last time Mercury
was in retrograde for this long
through these same autumn
months. Unless you think that
Hitler gaining power, 21.7%
unemployment, and the worst
drought in recorded history
were good, you're in trouble.
The only positive news is that
it's almost over. Next year
Mercury be in retrograde only
THREE DAYS. February 6th,
June 7th, and October 4th!