Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Next time keep it at home.

Open house
Don't you wonder if some people
ever look in the mirror before they
leave the house? That was certainly
my question last night as I watched
the Emmy Awards. Festivities like
these often bring out the worst in
the nominees. Some gowns dazzle,
others fizzle. While I admire many
a stylist's oeuvre, others of their ilk
should be awarded for bad taste!

Back seat
Let's just begin this conversation
by agreeing that some things
ought to stay home. We all grew
up with a chair similar to this one.
Back in the day some wild decorator
insisted that your Mother "accent"
the room with a conversation piece.
In the end any discussion of that
item was best left unsaid. In fact
most times it left one speechless.
Bad girl
Who knew that forty years later some
talented soul would don the equivalent
of your Mom's living room upholstery
for the Emmy's?! Honestly, where does
one begin? Some colors compliment the
complexion, others assault the eye. When
decorating a home, one is often advised
to focus on proportion. It's obvious that
the stylist decided that dictum applied to
decor only. In the end one wishes that
our oft deflowered colleen had rejected
her stylist's advice and left the upholstery
where it belonged, at the nursing home.

All in a knot
How many of us grew up spending
the holidays around a table adorned
with a dainty lace tablecloth? Like 
dysfunctional family functions, such
fussy finery seems to have gone the 
way of dusty doilies and antique
antimacassars. Today most of these 
archaic vestments have moved on
up to the attic's cedar chest.
Table for two
Some things go out of style for very good
reasons. Case in point, this deflated dress 
worn by a very talented recipient of a well
deserved award. Frankly it's rather sad that
the primary recognition this lovely lady 
received revolved around this gossamer
gown. Rather than laud her acting success
most focused on her frotsy frock. Not only
did it leave it's wearer flat, it disfigured her
august figure. Sadly bad fashion advice is 
not a criminal offense. While our Homeland
security was not at risk, our aesthetic sense
of style was attacked with a vengeance.

Case closed
Nowadays it's considered modern to
leave one's windows bare. In days of
yore, our forefathers had quite the
opposite opinion. They did everything
possible to mask whatever vision was
behind the heavy hangings they hung
over their glass clad links to the outer
world. An old fashioned idea at best.
Curtain Call
Frankly, I adore this lovely lady.
Beyond her glorious voice, her
charm and mirth seem to be as
boundless as her celebrated girth.
In the case of this ensemble, she
obviously hit a sour note. While
Scarlett O'Hara could pull it off in
a pinch, donning one's favorite
passementerie is not advised.
This ensemble is proof that even
the most monumental maiden
can get lost in a pattern ill scaled
for the human form. Hang it up!