Thursday, September 12, 2013

A helluva place...




Against all odds
Until now, I never knew what
it might be like to "do time" in
prison. However after spending
the last three days held virtually
prisoner at a casino resort in
steamy southern Florida, I now
understand what internment
truly feels like. One can only
describe my sojourn as a mix
of Disney World and HELL!
Passable at best
The only reason places like this exist is so that "guests" lose money as their hosts make a fortune! Skilled designers create surreal environments that do nothing else but purposefully confuse. As a prisoner hidden within the resort walls, one can't quite tell where you are nor what is the actual time of day. Once you've lost all of your bearings, one loses all self control. It's not about entertainment but engorgement. And... big money!
A Sure Bet
When bored beyond belief, it's easy to turn to the machines for a respite from the tedium. At first it's $20. Then $100. Then more. Until finally, you're in way over your head. Yes, there are times when you may more than triple your cash. However chances are you will piss that money away in some foolish effort to win even more. These folks are pros at manipulating human nature!
I'll drink to that!
What do you do when you're broke? You drink and then you drink some more. It's hard to maintain a sense of balance. Especially after three or four cocktails. In the end, booze only empowers one to return to the casino to watch little old ladies navigate their walkers as they
gamble away their life savings.
Bells and whistles
My mother taught me that the only thing that really separates the wheat from the chaff is "class". We all have a place where we belong and scanning the room, I did not fit in with the denizens of this smoky den of iniquity. Much like carrying a
six pack through Bergdorf Goodman, toting my Birkin through the slots was equally inappropriate. Quickly I knew this was NOT the place for me.
In a haze
You could smoke anywhere in the joint.
Growing up in a world of smokers, one
should be conditioned to the stench. Yet
after living smoke free for years the fog
of second hand smoke was repulsive at
best. While I'm certain the smokers were
happy, I doubt anybody else was. In the
end, my visit was NOT welcoming. One
thing is certain, you can bet I won't be
planning a casino "escape" ever again!