Thursday, September 19, 2013

You animal!

It's a jungle out there.
Working in a large organization can be quite intimidating. People are animals! Therefore we spend most of our days with movers, shakers, and other vermin. Gather a diverse group under one roof and things are bound to get out of control! Tread lightly and carry a big stick!
Dog eat dog
It's funny. The older I get, the wiser I realize my Father was. Early on in my career, Howard gave me this advice - "People are like animals. Once you figure out what species they are... it's easier to tame them." Over the years I've used this approach and it works! Put a leash on it!
King of the Jungle
As a leader you have to strut your stuff. There's always a king pin who majestically rules over the rest of the bunch. I'm not liein' when I warn you that while they seem tame, they might lash out at you. So, the best thing to do is to stay out of their immediate reach whenever possible.
Nine lives
Never trust this crazy cat for anything. They're totally self consumed, sneaky, unreliable, and yet able to survive almost anything unscathed. Most important, know that trying to get them to align is virtually impossible. Just occasionally stroke them and hopefully they'll take the bait!
Totally nuts
Frankly, some of your top performers can be more than a little squirrely. When given a task they will scurry around and do almost anything possible to maximize their results. While their pace is frenetic, you know that when times are tough, you can tap into their hidden stash.
The elephant in the room
It's obvious that they're oblivious to everything around them. These doddering duds plod along unintentionally wreaking havoc wherever they go. But please beware, given their truncated approach, one can easily be crushed under the weight of their cumbersome execution.
Mooooove it along
If nothing else they're reliable. They travel in packs and will go anywhere and do anything you tell them to do. Warning: never assume they can think for themselves. Simply keep them happy and then milk them for all they're worth. And remember... that's all of their worth.
On the hunt
Prey tell me why does anybody ever trust these fellows? Pretty to look at, they're always ready to pounce on you in a nano second. Just watch your back and never give them anything that could give them a competitive edge. Otherwise your kindness may bite you in the ass!
A total zoo
The next meeting you're in, rather than keep your head in the sand, identify the species around the table. Trust me - this is not a flight of fancy. It's easier when you know what type of bird you're up against. Slowly you'll tame those wild beasts and ultimately rule the roost!