Monday, January 7, 2013


In a small town everybody
knows it all. The best hub
for information is not the
CIA nor the local police.
It is the Beauty Parlor.
While the gals get done, the
juice flows. Last week the
buzz was all about New Years
Eve. And boy was it juicy!

As the ladies tell it - 

A "very good looking" gentleman
and his wife were visiting for the holidays.
They decided to celebrate New Year's Eve
at The Eagles Bar (fraternal club).
This hot spot is where "young people"
go out and have fun in Lewistown.

Apparently this gentleman is quite a looker.
Except for one flaw...
a shiny bald spot on the back of his head.

I must digress for a moment...

I have a gentle suggestion for
any of my readers foolish enough
to think that balding and sexy
are not a magical melange -
I ask that you go to the video store ASAP
and rent any Ed Harris flick.
Then talk to me.

Now back to the bar...

Old Stand Buffet - Lewistown MT - 1910 - Courtesy Montana Memory Project - Lewistown Library

Have another?
As that New Years
evening passed, I'm
certain that one too
many Coors Light
went along with it.
That plus some off
the shelf liquor and
various mixes that
I'd rather not think
about. Anyway...
after a few too many
cocktails, everybody
starts to look a little
bit better. And in a
town where there is
rarely 'fresh meat"
looking good can
be quite a liability.
We all crave some
company especially
as a new year tolls
in. So why not?

Imagine sitting at the bar,
with your lovely wife.
When suddenly you get
a strange sensation.
Something wet...
right on that shiny spot
you wish did not exist!

"Hey, somebody 
 just licked me!"

Yes my friends, some hops emboldened hussy
decided that she liked the top of his head.
So she licked it.
And... she did it so quickly that...
in a crowded bar... in a tiny town...


Now here's the best part...
Obviously everyone in town wants to know who "she" is.
I think that's because nobody can believe that somebody didn't see it.

All of this mania means that every "beauty operator"
wants to be the one to claim she alone knows who dunnit.
So... while ratting hair, and touching up roots, they will be drilling for data.

I truly don't think the facts or participants ultimately matter.
Rather, it's the thrill of being in the know, having scoop, dishing dirt.
And especially in this rural community...