Thursday, February 4, 2016


Why me?
I don't know about you but there are
days when I struggle. Proof that one
can truly get up on the wrong side of
the bed. However my challenge is that
post initiating such a skewed journey,
it's virtually impossible to alter it's
course of Titanic disproportions. In
other words, I'm totally screwed and
we're not talking a morning quickie.
Hence for one day everything will
and most definitely does go wrong.
The only good news being that one
gets a reprieve by the morning after.
Over served?
Alcohol is often involved. Somehow
consuming massive quantities during
an evening limits one's ability to freely
function the morning after. Frankly,
I'm my own worse enemy given that
whenever I stray from the old adage
"never mix, never worry" I'm sure to
suffer the consequences. Sadly, I'm
just a boy who can't say no... to a few
Martinis plus a glass or two of wine
that is. The result being an inability
to do little but sit and stare at the walls
until cocktail hour rolls around again!
My mistake...
My morning catatonic state is rather
embarrassing. While few if any see
me stumbling about I get angry with
myself for obvious overindulgence.
However nothing is ever as bad as it
was in my wild and crazy single days.
Many a morning I awoke to find the
error of my ways sleeping next to me
in my bed. And while a dear friend
always reassured me that "it doesn't
count" - I couldn't wait to get rid of
the evidence.  Especially when they
are vomiting in my commode.
Coffee break
Fortunately those dark days are gone.
However I frequently spend the day
wandering about in a haze. Yesterday
was especially foggy as I couldn't get
my act together. Making coffee was
a challenge given I'd somehow lost
the art of boiling water. Next I spilled
the beans (on the floor). Once ground,
I spread a fine layer of the results on
the counter -not pot. My inability to
function resulted in quite a bitter brew
to swallow. What could be so wrong
that even caffeine couldn't fix it?
Off the grid
In theory technology is our friend. Yet
somehow when one isn't functioning
on full power, one's electronic helpers
opt to rebel. I probably am pushing the
wrong buttons which explains why
nothing works the way it's supposed to.
While human error is most definitely
involved, I'm fairly certain that fate
enjoys dealing me a bad hand on an
off day. Frustrations aside, when one
is broken there is really no way to fix
oneself. And so I go with the flow even
if that means ending up in the gutter.
Bedside manners
There should be a quarantine for those
suffering from an off day. After all it's
better to face the consequences solo
than drag others into your morass. The
kindest thing to do is to call in sick or
hide under the covers. Yet few do that.
Instead we venture out into the world
in a state of suspended animation. The
result being that whatever we do that
day can hopefully be undone the next.
Even if misery loves company, in this
case it's better to lick one's wounds in
private. After all this soon shall pass...
Hello sunshine
Ultimately a new day arises. And
with said dawn comes redemption.
For some reason everything seems
to fix itself by the next morning.
One's outlook is sunny whereas
the day prior it was gloomy at best.
Suddenly rather than than a bother,
everything is easy. Whether that's
due to the stars aligning or a stroke
of good luck, one is able to function
once more. On that note I'll sign off
because honestly, I can't wait until
this day is over. See you tomorrow!