Saturday, December 20, 2014


Open season
Sunday afternoon we host our first
bash in the Passion Pit. And who
could be more important to laud
than all of the talented people who
have transformed our home. What
must they have thought upon first
entering our disaster? While I'm
fairly certain most thought we were
nuts, they must have seen all of the
possiblities. Otherwise how could
they have possibly had the brains
and brawn to make our dreams a
reality? Miracles still happen!
Honorable guests
Given that almost everyone in town
wants a tour - it's important that all
who helped us are treated like VIP's.
Therefore they will have full access
to every nook and cranny. Obviously
they know their way around the joint.
Yet many popped in and out during
the transformation. Hence now they
and their significant others can enjoy
the fruits of their labor at their leisure.
Because of their hard work - we now
live in a home, not a work in progress.
So why not celebrate THEM?!
Secret recipe
Many have asked me how we'll host
a horde. Frankly it couldn't be easier.
After years of hosting soirees, I've
developed a routine. Fortunately here
in Lewistown, we've found people to
help us make it all happen. Yes, some
preparation is involved. But if you
follow a couple of easy suggestions -
you too can enjoy a party almost as
much as your guests! First, it's the
little touches that make people feel
special. So haul out the holly, strut
your stuff and have a great time!
Best foot forward
Speaking of strutting - it's winter here
and the last thing I need is a flurry of
snowy shoes soaking my carpets. Not
to worry as our guests will be treated
just like those at five star hotels. You
see, we've ordered a case of non skid
terry hotel slippers. Now everyone
can leave my worries and their shoes
on the doorstep and enjoy the comfort
of our home. Plus there's no walk of
shame necessary post party. At the
evening's end they'll leave our home
high and dry! Drive carefully!
Pour it on 
Liquids are of upmost importance. One
should have several cases of good red
and white wine on hand. Many folks
like beer so I've also put a few cases
on ice. I only stock my bar with quality
booze - no back bar brands. Just think,
why would you expect your guests to
drink anything you wouldn't imbibe?
Most important - serve whatever they
want in a real glass - no plastic please.
And if possible, have someone else
pour so that you can enjoy the party.
Sober up and hire a bartender now!
Heavy laden
I like to keep things simple when it
comes to edibles. Hence our dining
table will be laden with a few good
things. The right setting means real
plates, flatware, and cloth napkins.
If you don't own enough - RENT.
Next, a bounty of cheese, grapes,
and charcuterie served on a silver
platter. At the end of the table a hot
ham should stand ready for carving
along with buns and sauces. Finally
one must never skimp on the shrimp.
The more the merrier means more!
More than passable
Nothing is worse than anything sitting
on Sterno. Therefore our hot nibbles
must be passed by a lad or lass once
as they exit the oven. We're rotating
four different options - all tried and
true favorites that everybody loves.
When it comes to throwing a party,
don't throw yourself into a frenzy
trying to be clever. Serve things that
most folks like and a good time will
be had by all. That said - don't skimp
on quantity or quality! Only the best
for your guests! That's the test!
How sweet it is
Any host who doesn't satisfy their
guest's sweet tooth will soon get
their just desserts. Our sideboard
will be full of enough sweet stuff
to satisfy almost anybody's sugar
high. A coffee and tea service will
be ready and waiting for any who
need a wake up call. One must
never forget those guests who opt
to not drink alcohol. Along with
java we'll have plenty of juices,
San Pellegrino, and ice cold soda.
One must quench everyone's thirst!
Punch drunk love
Most important is that the host is free
to mingle. Standing behind the bar or
slaving away in a hot kitchen might
save some dough but not your soiree.
Your guest's want to celebrate with
you! The more you enjoy yourself,
the more your invitees will. Just one
word of caution - stay off the sauce.
It's really not very hospitable to fall
asleep in a corner an hour into the
festivities. Nor are loose lips the best
way to say seasons greetings. So sip
some water, relax, and enjoy!