Tuesday, December 23, 2014


The waiting game
I'm amazed at the plethora of on-line
promotions promising gift deliveries
by Christmas. I guess if one can still
log on then they'll check off your list.
If you prefer to shop locally, you've
got until at least five p.m. tomorrow
to grab a gift. At times I've been one
of those crazed shoppers. Years ago
my boss handed out bonuses on the
end of the twenty fourth. Quickly
I would rush out and shop with his
money before Santa could arrive at
our house! And it was on sale...
Crowd control
I can understand why many prefer to
shop on-line rather than wait in line.
Simply trying to find a parking space
for one's sled can drive any Santa
nuts. Layer on top of that inclement
weather and it's certainly tempting
to shop in one's skivvies. However
I can't handle the tension. Waiting
for that last minute gift to arrive at
the last minute drives me nuts. It's
easy but this elf waits in terror with
a tracking number in hand. Certain
some delay will destroy Christmas!

Santa's elves
One can't help but feel sorry for the poor
suckers who must sell and ship your gift
at the very last minute. Most have spent
the last six months planning and plotting
Christmas. Meanwhile you did nothing
and now are irritated that you must pay
for overnight shipping. Why should they
do everything only to get nothing back
except returns? It's a thankless job at
best however in reality, it's more than a
public service. If somebody makes my
life easier, I'm faithful forever. So thanks
to the boys (and girls) in the back room!

Special Delivery
Given my addiction to eBay, I have
an intimate relationship with a man
in shorts with a big package. The
pavement in front of the Passion Pit
is worn down in a groove due to my
frequent shopping. Almost daily we
are visited by UPS, FedEx, and the
Postal Service. Often I wonder if
they wonder how I became a long
distance hoarder. The good news is
they have job security given Santa's
workshop is on the corner of 57th
and Fifth. HO HO TO GO!
Gift with bonus
Part of me thinks it is much better to
wait till the last minute. Years ago we
purchased a coveted toy for my son
(now father of two) at a summer sale.
Quickly it was hidden away. At the
same time we lost a rented video tape.
After searching to no avail, we paid
for the video. On Christmas morning
the toy was finally opened and inside
was a bonus - the missing videotape.
Sometimes in our zeal to get ahead
of the rush we get lost in the process!
Could it be feasible that later is better?
Boys will be boys
You can bet that most late arrivals to
the party are of the male persuasion.
While gentlemen are busy, often our
priorities are not quite as organized
as the ladies. For many reasons we
wait and defer until suddenly there's
no time left. That's creates a vacuum
where suddenly some sucker appears
under the tree. Fortunately, a run to
the liquor store satisfies most manly
hearts. Pre-wrapped goodies await
ready to spread glad tidings and
cheer. I'll drink to that! CHEERS!