Tuesday, January 7, 2014

I can see clearly now

In a fog
From late Sunday through Monday
morning Manhattan was enshrouded
in a deep, dark fog. What was even
odder was the cause of this strange
phenomena, overnight temperatures
in the mid fifties. Post the prior week's
mania around low temps and snow it's
no wonder that we confused islanders
were wandering around in a haze. At
this point nothing seems quite right!

Dazed and confused
Rather than the weather, I chalk this
confusion up to an annual attack of
post holiday traumatic stress syndrome.
For months we fretted and fussed over
the festivities and gifts of the season.
As you know I was out almost every
evening for six weeks straight. Then
after one final slice of fruit cake it was
suddenly all over. The aftermath being
a league of lost souls who were left to
fend for ourselves without any events,
tasks, or responsibilities. Rather than
boring, I find this oddly exhilarating!

Clearly better
The fog is slowly lifting off Manhattan.
Our city starts to come back to life in a
very different way during the month of
January. The lack of any major events
plus inclement weather conditions keeps
visitors down to a minimum. We locals
now have the city to ourselves! This is
time for New Yorkers to do the things
we love to do but rarely do due to our
avoidance of herds of visiting vermin.

Easy access
Suddenly one can easily get a table
almost anywhere in town. Just a few
days prior I had to beg, (yes beg) for
a table at nine forty five, I now have
my choice of seven thirty or eight.
Once again waiters remember your
name cocktail drink of choice. It's
as if December had never happened.
Even better, after a few drinks, any
seasonal scars seem to fade away.
Service with a smile
Prior to Christmas, I had to wait over
an hour at Bergdorf's gift wrap window.
Such a slip in service led one to surmise
that any semblance of civilization had
disappeared forever. Fortunately all has
changed. I'm glad to report the seasonally
surly sales staff have fully recuperated
and now are quite willing to wrap or
ship anything come January. Did you
hear me? Anything, including sale!
Gone but not forgotten
Fifth Avenue has been returned
to the locals due to the onslaught
of adverse winter weather. Thus
a reduction in the heartless hordes
of tourists who patiently line up
for a glimpse inside Abercrombie
& Fitch. For a few months the city
will be ours alone. While a brave
few may journey from afar, there
is nothing that makes a down clad
local feel smugger than watching
Nicaraguan neophytes slip n' slide
through the curbside slush! Hola!

Home alone
All of this can't help but remind one of
the Venetians. January flooding keeps
their tourists at bay allowing the locals
to slosh through the Piazza San Marco
in solitude. The same respite occurs in
the city that never sleeps. During this
winter break I will travel uptown to the
Metropolitan Museum of Art. For a few
brief weeks I'll be able to leisurely walk
the galleries all by myself. However I
must hurry as the clock is ticking. Once
spring finally arrives Manhattan will be
flooded with a tsunami of tourists!