I BEG TO DIFFER

Back off
If only we didn't have to deal with
people. Well... most other members
of our species. Sadly it seems that
too often the most inhumane are
actually all too human. While many
prefer the status quo - in truth we're
all different. That diversity is what
makes our country and culture so
great. And yet lately one can't help
but wonder what's going wrong.
Rather than celebrate who we are,
many are trying to legislate their
version of "democracy" bar none.

Drive by assault
Last night we had a lovely dinner with
a local couple. Chances are we don't
agree on everything, yet we found
more than common ground over two
bottles of red wine. As we exited the
restaurant the only other customer
shouted out a greeting. New in town,
she spewed a plethora of far right
rhetoric. Given Frank and I naturally
land on the opposite side - we did not
agree with her opinions. However,
being gracious gentlemen we smiled,
listened, and moved towards the door.

You don't say
Apparently our faces gave us away.
Before we could exit the room she
quickly apologized. And we quickly
reinforced that no apology was at
all necessary. We lauded her passion
and affirmed that diversity is what
makes this country great. However
what concerns me is that both sides
of our political fence seem to differ
with that stance. Rather than laud
our collective differences, most of
our leadership prefers to degrade
and deride which only DIVIDES.

Side by side
The fact is we don't have to agree.
Working through our differences
ultimately makes us all stronger.
Somewhere there's some sort of
common ground and that's where
we all need to be standing. Hiding
in a corner never makes a massive
sink hole between either side go
away. Being an American means
that while I don't have to like you -
I must respect you. Sadly it seems
that most our political leadership
doesn't embrace that philosophy.

Goose or gander?
Again, I feel I must reiterate - we don't
have to always agree. However, at some
point we must align in order to get from
here to there. When are we going to rise
above all of this? How can we move
forward if most of us are still dragging
our feet? I'm all for a dialogue but there
comes a time when we have to agree to
disagree, align on something, anything!
And move on. Disagreement isn't going
to kill us - inertia just might. Locally
and nationally - we need to move on.
Are you as bored with this as I am?!

Equal opportunity
As one sifts through history, leaders
lead. And while that at times means
taking a bullet for the rest of us, it
requires a willingness to listen and
learn. Like it or not we've all got
something more to learn. And in my
opinion only fools are unwilling to
change their minds. So while I didn't
like everything the lady said last nite,
I respect her right to say it like she
feels it is. If and when we meet again
I plan to graciously do the same.
GOD BLESS AMERICA!

SIGNS OF THE TIMES

Don't ask, don't tell
Before you start reading my missive,
if you're sick of my gay rants STOP
NOW. Enjoy your coffee and hit the
blog tomorrow when once again it
will be rainbows (not PFLAG) and
lollipops. For those of you who care
about freedom, equality, and both of
their ultimate byproduct - happiness,
please read on. While I try to leave
politics out of this venue - there are
times when I have to reinforce that

"I'M QUEER AND I'M HERE!"

Heaven or hell?
One can't help but be saddened
about recent legislation in both
Indiana and Arkansas. After all
of the positive momentum that
equality has taken in our country
I'd hoped for more. Yet it's a bit
foolish to be surprised. Bigots
have been promoting prejudice
in the name of God since the
beginning of time. As one who
only used to drive through the
"Crossroads of America" state -
I won't miss it or... Arkansas.

Are we there yet?
God must have a sense of humor.
Otherwise politicians in both states
would be struck by lightning or
turned into pillars of salt. Maybe
there's a lesson in all of this and
once again it's time for America to
take a refresher course in bigotry.
Let's be clear - hate is hate. Evil
is evil. And even when both are
hidden behind idiots using God's
name in vain... it is what it is. My
question is when will this stop.
Are you as "over" it all as I am?

Or so they say...
National polls continue to indicate
that the majority think differently
from the minority. Yet one has to
oddly respect these homophobes.
Somehow, some way, they found
a way to publicly and at least for
now legally make their point. But
what drives seemingly intelligent
folks to do awfully ignorant things?
Does hatred drive their paranoid
passion? Or is it a subtle form of
self-hatred? Have you ever heard
"Thou doest protest too much?"

Squeaky wheels
In my experience it's the people who
scream the loudest that have the most
to hide. Are some over compensating
for their theoretical weaknesses? And
why does that require beating people
like me to a pulp with a baseball bat?
Is the reason they're against who I am
because deep down they fear they're
exactly like me? Sheep will follow
whatever idiot is in the lead, but why
are the rest of you allowing bigotry
to become the law of some lands?
Is this a sign of things to come?

It is what it is
Have we forgotten? Prejudice is
prejudice. Bigotry is bigotry. Yet
only post worldwide appall did
Indiana's GOP leadership alter
their poisonous legislation. Now
the far right is crying "foul." But
what could be fouler than a law
that legalizes prejudice? Maybe
it's time that we reminded them
how gay we really are. Let's stop
shopping and dining. Soon the
signs in their windows may read -
"OUT OF BUSINESS."

Buyer beware
I've said this before but must say it
again. My freedom and equality is
NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. As
long as I don't hurt you nor break a
law, what happens in my bedroom
stays in my bedroom. The fact that
most of Indiana is an armpit is of no
concern to me. Nor that Arkansans
often claim that their mother is also
their sister. Please leave me alone.
Stop trying to change people who
are perfect happy being who and as
they are. Politician - heal thyself!

OUT OF THE MOUTHS OF BABES

Three years ago a toddler stood on the Dias of the

Apostolic Truth Tabernacle

in Greensburg, Indiana and sang a song.

Post performance his father proudly crowed

"That's my boy"

So tell me... why are we surprised?

TO TOP IT ALL OFF

All set?
DIFFA's Dining By Design event was
recently held in Manhattan (above).
While this fair haired boy loves to set
a nice table I prefer to dine upon one
based in reality. A table setting should
entertain one's guests yet never usurp
what one sups. Whether in our kitchen,
sun or dining room I try to make each
meal special. After seeing some of my
tables posted here and on Facebook -
many have asked for hints. And given
Passover starts Friday and Easter is
Sunday I thought I'd help set things up.

Color your world
I start with a color. Usually that's
decided by the table cloth or china
service. My Mother rarely strayed
from staid white or ecru. While
quite elegant, neutrality can get
rather dull. I own an assortment
of French jacquard table linens.
Not only chic - their patterns and
tones offer a myriad of options to
build upon. If you want to make it
more casual, placemats are an easy
option. Just make sure you dust
your table before setting it!

Center stage
Somehow flowers make any table
even more special. I love posies
but don't like the cost or output
of most florists. Hence I figured
out how to build fairly elegant
bouquets out of basic grocer flora.
For about thirty dollars I create
a spectacular arrangement that
even in Lewistown would cost
over one hundred at the florist
with half the blossoms. Stick to
one color and vary the size of
the blooms. Go ahead... try it!

All mixed up
As one may recall, our great wall
of china houses roughly seventy
dish patterns and over forty crystal
and colored glass options. Why do
I need so much? Well... I mix and
match. First I select a color palette.
Then the table cloth. Next I arrange
the posies and then build a setting
from the dinner plate on. Layer by
layer I create a mood and those bits
and pieces come together to create
a perfect setting. Why not dig out
grannie's china and get started?!

Light my fire
After a long day we all need a little
help. Hence it's all about lighting.
Candles cast a glow that's magical.
And while I don't suggest you dine
in the dark - the moodier the better.
I have a large array of candlesticks.
Sometimes I position four around
the centerpiece. Other times three
of varying heights on either side.
Classic blown glass hurricanes not
only make a statement but protect
against drafts that cause drips. And
please... lots and lots of votives!

Side saddle
With one color or palette as a guide
almost anything can be combined
to create the perfect setting. Yet as
important is how one arranges one's
guests. My mix and match theory
continues to apply. As host I'm in
control and carefully plan who sits
where. The art of conversation
requires strategic placement the
more talkative versus dull. Side
by side they suddenly prove that
two are better than one. So why
not, dish it out and enjoy dinner!

Just desserts...
Following are a few more images with notes. Hope this helps inspire you!

Shown left, this coffee table
arrangement consists of tea
and standard roses in the
same or similar tones. All
cut to the same length and
mixed up a bit!



Shown below, multi-sized
varieties in a mix of similar
tones work deliver a bold
pop of color. However any
tone will do. Works equally
well with white! 

To the right - Proof that you can
set a lovely table without flowers.
This imprompteau family dinner
featured a large hurricane and
candle stick as it's centerpiece. 




Below is shown another albeit
smaller and colored hurricane
shade. This time it's surrounded
by four diminutive arrangements
of my favorites... tiny miniature
white carnations.

One doesn't have to be flora
agnostic. For Thanksgiving
I mixed posies, fruit, and nuts
to create a seasonal statement.
For formal occasions such as
the table shown left, I at times
prefer more sedate tones. 

Believe it or not, even I opt to
not mix it up. The table below
features a Spode pattern that's
busy enough. However I could
not resist a mix of glassware
and votives based on the tones
of the colorful tablecloth.

To the right is the same pattern
on a dramatically different
foundation. Simply changing
out the dominant color can
alter the impact of the same
old stuff. Why not try it?

With apologies for my limited
skills as a photographer, the
table below reinforces that a 
dark and dramatic surface is
a wow in and of itself!

A new approach to entertaining...

Are you ready?
I occasionally post images of tables
I've set on this blog or my Facebook
page. What's fascinating is that soon
thereafter, I'm flooded with requests
for further insights and inspiration
on the art of entertaining. Now that
both Passover and Easter are almost
upon us, I thought I would share a
few simple and easy tips that may
help make your holidays even better.
The truth is it's fairly easy to set up
a successful dinner. Hopefully the
following will make you hoppy!

Easy does it
Times past I thought that setting a truly
proper table was the only way to make
your guests feel special. However since
living in Montana for almost a year I've
come to the conclusion that just about
anything goes. Who has the time to set
a table let alone clean up YOUR mess?
Hence I've given up all things fussy.
The easier the better. Rather than linens,
china, and crystal, why not rough it and
use disposable paper and plastic? After
all if one must entertain trash the least
one can do is throw their debris into it!

Just faux you
Flowers are simply a waste of money -
especially the real ones that only die!
If you must put something dead center
in your repast I suggest you consider
silk (actually polyester) posies. First
of all they last forever. Second, they're
washable. Finally they don't send out
any offensive scents to compete with
whatever you're serving. Even better,
forget flowers and simply fill the space
with a  crock pot or two. If everybody
helps themselves - less work for you!
Better yet, why not go out instead?!

The more the merrier
Whatever you serve, make sure it
includes lots of alcohol. Nothing
makes a poorly cooked meal go
down easier than lots of liquid
lubrication. The fact is that if one
is not highly medicated it's going
to be rather challenging to survive
the holidays. All involved will be
happier if you're happy... really
happy! I doubt those few more
martini's will hurt anyone but you.
So share your brew with the brood.
The family that drinks together...

Slice of life
While we're on the subject of making
it easier for yourself - why cook at all?
Today we have a myriad of amazing
pre-cooked and pre-packaged options
for almost any dinner. So rather than
roast a ham, buy a pound or two of
pre-sliced deli ham. Not only does it
save you the bother of baking, it's also
virtually fat free so that's must be sort
of healthy! Zap some mac and cheese
in the microwave and if you must one
or two packages of veggies and soon
dinner is served. It's a holiday isn't it?

Unrelated issues
Sometimes wrangling unruly family
members can be harder than herding
cats. That's why I suggest you NOT
invite anyone over who irritates you.
Listen, you've worked a long week
and the last thing you need to bother
with a nasty cousin or Aunt. There's
still time to mail them a Passover or
Easter card with a gift certificate to
McDonald's enclosed. Add a note
that says you're on a cruise for the
next two weeks. They'll get the hint.
And if they don't, who really cares?

Forward pass
As far as my Jewish buddies are
concerned - isn't it time that you
gave up those archaic traditions?
Why leave the leaven to others?
Push the limit and serve a ham
smothered in bacon and wrapped
in puff pastry. Pair that with a big
layer cake and watch your family
enjoy the holidays more than ever
before! Surely God has a sense of
humor so at least in theory - even
after the leaven... chance are that
you're still goin' to heaven!

Home alone
Could it be that I've finally got my
priorities in the right place? Damn
everyone else - now it's all about me.
After years of hiding your eggs, this
bunny plans to keep his eggs in his
basket! The truth is nobody enjoys
coming over to your house. So why
persist in torturing them? Go ahead
and give yourself (and them) a break.
Pop something in the microwave
and then watch your favorite DVD
solo. And please, don't get dressed
up. Nobody cares what you wear.


For more entertaining tips, read tomorrow's blog.
HAPPY APRIL FOOLS DAY.

IT'S ALL A BLUR

Life in the fast lane
In theory I should be cool, calm,
and collected. If I'm truly "retired"
then that means I'm not working
and hence in theory have no real
responsibilities. Yet unfortunately
nothing could be farther from the
truth. My friends who trod this path
prior warned me and were right -
I'm busier than I've ever been and
then some! In fact I can't seem to
keep on schedule and up with all
of the demands of my theoretical
life of leisure. I'm an utter mess.

Hot and bothered
There's a song in the fifties musical
Pajama Game. A time management
expert bemoans the convoluted ways
he saves time like brushing his teeth
in the shower. Things aren't that bad
but often the day is practically over
before I finally get a chance to take
a shower. While I once dreamed of
leisurely hours steaming away under
a hot spigot - I'm lucky if I'm wet for
less than five minutes every other
day. Well, things could be worse -
at least I'm trying to clean up my act.

Clearly theres a problem
I wish the same cleanliness applied
to my eyewear. Sadly most of the
time it appears as if I'm in a fog or
blizzard conditions. Mother Nature
has nothing to do with my inability
to see clearly. Sadly I simply forgot
to clean my specs. The resulting haze
is another indication of my inability
to keep up with the simplest of tasks.
Even when I was working a twelve
hour day I was able to occasionally
spritz my lenses. Maybe I should
wear them while I'm in the shower...

Step by step
Then there are my shoes. We all know
my affection for all things Italian. Yet
sadly my tootsies are rather lackluster
these days. Not due to a lack of options
to slip into but rather because they no
longer shine like they used to. While
my to-do list includes brogue buffing
I never spit and polish. Hence when I
run out of the door my feet are dull at
best. If only there was a shoe shine
boy within a two hundred mile radius.
Not likely as cowboys seem to prefer
lots of dust on their boots. YEE HAW!

Who knew?
If nothing else I'm a confused man on
a mission. Today I ran into the grocer
to pick up some last minute things. As
usual I was self consumed and walked
past my dear friend "A." Fortunately
she prodded me out of my coma and
soon we were hugging in front of the
organic produce. A few unplanned
minutes chuckling with a friend were
a welcome respite from life's worries.
Then suddenly reality hit and I had to
ask myself... why did I come here and
what was I supposed to get?

Cracked up
Late this afternoon I realized Easter
is THIS Sunday. Quick like a bunny
I hopped to it and gathered my eggs.
You see - if my granddaughter hopes
to enjoy her loot she has to first get
it. Given I live quite far away it is
usually wise to ship in advance. As
that clearly did not happen I had to
fill said basket, box it up, and rush
over to the Post Office prior to the
Express Mail deadline. Happily this
pesky wabbit made it under the wire
and it should arrive by Good Friday.

Just in time
Finding the time to write my daily
missive in the middle of my mania
is troublesome at best. However
somehow I do it. While I at times
question whether anybody reads it,
something or someone reminds me
that it is not for naught. While at
the Post Office I requested more
of those Janice Joplin stamps. The
lady behind the counter replied
"They're all gone - we had a rush
on them after your last blog." Proof
that some of my time is well spent.

IS IT ALL IN MY HEAD?

With or without?
When did the simple act of enjoyment
become rife with worries about the
risks related to satisfaction? It seems
that almost anything that tastes good
is at least in someone's theory bad for
us. Hence we all deprive ourselves of
things that in reality make us happy.
While I don't want to get some dread
condition or grow a large tumor out
of the side of my head - I must ask
why am I doing without? Especially
when I lack any documentation that
might prove a need for my abstinence?

All the white stuff
As a baby boomer I was born to adore
white bread. Sadly Wonder Bread was
never in our bread box. Ethel felt that
it was both unhealthy and déclassé. So
I envied my friends who could squish
their slices down to a size equal to that
of communion wafer. Our loaves were
delivered by the Dugan man. Once we
placed his blue "D" in the window he
stopped and brought freshly baked
goods to our door including the white
stuff. Later we switched to Pepperidge
Farm Classic White. It was classy...

Half baked idea
Somehow having to now chew on loaves
of whole grain sawdust isn't the same. In
theory I embrace that the rough stuff is
better for you. However I still secretly
crave whatever's white. Recently I had
to purchase a loaf of white bread to make
classic tea sandwiches. For a day or so
after... the remainders of the loaf silently
sat waiting. Initially I resisted crossing
over to the white side. Then finally one
morning I toasted a slice, slathered it
with butter, and went straight to heaven
on earth. Hell was that good!

So bad... it's good
How could something so wrong be
so right? And why am I so brain
washed that the nibbling on white
bread is akin to murdering one's kin?
I'm sick of worrying about whether
it's organic, non GMO, free range,
or anti-biotic free. I simply want to
enjoy whatever I eat. We've become
so crazed with consumption. I yearn
for the days when nobody worried
about gluten or lactose nor counted
their calories. Instead they did as
they pleased,  ate what they liked.

Freedom of choice
Let's take a holiday from immaculate
consumption. If you crave Hungry
Jack instant mashed potatoes... go
for it. If deep within your heart you
want to dine on Stove Top stuffing
mix... why not? If you think there's
nothing better than chemical laden
store brand ice cream... enjoy! We
are what we eat. However if what
goes in makes us miserable, then
why continue to torture ourselves?!
Don't give a damn - pull out some
Spam! Let's take a bite out of life!