Friday, August 16, 2013

Watch out!


Load 'er up
It seems that some people just can't get their act together. The ultimate clue is their FRIDGE. I don't know why but many of us seem incapable of managing the fetid contents of our food cooling apparatus. Whatever drives this dysfunction, it's obvious when someone just can't keep up.
Got milk?
Urbanites view food management differently than our friends in the outer boroughs . Every day we stop at the corner market on the way home. After scanning our options, we select whatever is fresh and appetizing. Then we go home, cook, and eat. On the other hand, most suburbanites take a weekly grocery shopping trip to the market and load up their mini vans. Stocking up on more than enough provisions to survive a nuclear holocaust.
Dig deep
Sifting through the contents of most freezers is comparable to an archaeological dig. While the idea of finding an intact frozen woolly mammoth intrigues, does anybody really want to chew on a three thousand year old steak?
What's in there?
There's nothing worse than opening
the fridge door and being hit by an
odor reminiscent of old socks! For
many the idea of discarding rotten
food seems abhorrent. I'm not sure
if it's driven by guilt over waste or
simply laziness. What's obvious is
that many maintain their fridge like
a petri dish. Who knows what evil
lurks within. but frankly, it's scary!
More is more
I'm not naming names but some people have been known to store stuff in the vegetable "crisper" for YEARS. When a treasure is rediscovered, it quite often doesn't resemble whatever it was. While boiling baggies of hubris can be rather colorful, the danger of explosions is not worth the risk! Maintaining a valid food inventory within one's frigid Bermuda Triangle is challenging. Maybe we'll install a walk-in commercial fridge at the MP. That way we can easily survey all of the goodies we've got on ice!