Saturday, September 15, 2018


Native species
In the gay world there are multiple
classifications for gentlemen and
ladies. For Lesbians it's easy. You're
either a "lipstick" i.e. feminine - or
a "butch" i.e. a bit masculine. Given
boys will be boys the monikers go
much further. There are "Daddies"
i.e. gents of advanced vintage. Then
"fems" i.e. softer and gentler types.
Or "leathermen" - guys who prefer
"leather".  And then "BEARS" i.e.
hairy, brawny, and burly types. Plus
a few handles that I dare not mention.
Lay of the land
When one lives in a city it's rather easy
to discern who is who (or what). Most
especially on a Friday night. However
once one ventures beyond the edge of
the concrete jungle identifying species
becomes much harder. City "Bears" sport
a rather distinctive uniform. Tight flannel
shirts buttoned low with sleeves rolled up
high to expose overly hairy chests, pecs,
and forearms. Cargo pants or shorts with
work boots and socks are also de rigueur.
The problem is here in Montana almost
every guy dresses and looks like that!
Natural phenomena
Then you have the boys who like bears
better known as "otters." While usually
as furry, they're slimmer, trimmer, and
often more diminutive versions of the
objects of their affection. Once again
here in Montana it's almost impossible
to tell the queers from straights. While
I'm totally for equality, I must admit that
I find the metro-sexualization and beards
of the younger male population totally
befuddling. All of a sudden everybody
looks gay. Which bodes the question -
How does one tell one from another?!
Grin and bear it
Sadly my "gaydar" is broken. We live
in a much kindler and gentler world
than prior. However that doesn't mean
one should back a theoretical "bear"
into a corner - as he may turn on you.
The fact is one must be ever vigilant
in these days of manscaping. Or else
you risk offending someone or being
beaten up quite badly. And so if we
brave new territory we tread lightly
and carry big sticks. All in the hope
that the natives will bear with us as
we trod their happy hunting grounds!