Monday, March 9, 2015

LIKE BUTTAH


Churn baby churn
One of the biggest benefits to growing
up a boomer in Ethel's house was that
our home was a margarine free zone.
Where as most of my friends had to
slather that slippery morass on their
toast, my mother liberally applied a
swath of cholesterol onto everything.
Sadly I didn't know the difference due
to my fervent dislike of butter. In my
my foolish youth all that I dreamed of
was a gigantic tub of Parkay sitting on
our table. After all, butter was never
on TV but margarine was a star!
Against all odds
Much like cigarettes and booze, we
were all taught that the terribly toxic
was better for us than the real stuff.
Hence on television we were told
that cigarettes soothed your throat
and margarine was not only healthy
but affordable. How odd that even
though my mater loved to pinch a
penny - when it came to butter she
made the investment. That naturally
golden elixir truly made everything
taste better. Especially her piece of
coffee cake topped with a pat per bite.
Mother knew best
Since working through my anti-Ethel
phase I've completely embraced butter.
In my opinion a meal simply isn't a meal
unless at least half a pound of fabulous
fat has been added to it. Mashed potatoes
at our house are most definitely not for
the weak of heart. Between butter and
heavy cream - my mush is guaranteed
to induce a lactose intolerant coma! Even
pedestrian peas, carrots, or green beans
are transformed into divine delights once
swimming in a pool of clarified goodness.
Have you tasted a hot dog fried in butter?
Euro trash
Not all are created equal. Once one
experiences the real stuff - European
style butter - beurre francais - Land
O' Lakes is soon forgotten. Don't try
to argue this point with me. Simply
do a taste test and then we'll tawk.
There's a dramatic difference and
it's MORE FAT. If it's truly of the
Euro bent - it's also cultured. There
was a time when one could only buy
a bit of butter heaven at a gourmet
grocer or cheese shop. Now most
grocers carry at least one variety.
Country crock
Here in Lewistown we have three
to pick from. Kerrygold is made
in Ireland and in my opinion tastes
the best even if it only comes in
the salted variety. Plugra is made
by Borden and hence while richer
in fat in my opinion it's not that
tasty. However it does come in
salted and unsalted varieties so
I use it for baking. Challenge
crafts a decent "European" mix
that's still richer and better than
traditional U.S. of A. varieties.
Cream in my genes
Once you do crack - you'll never go
back. Post tasting a better butter,
you'll never accept less again. Some
of those truly addicted can easily sit
down and eat it stick by stick. While
equally addicted, I prefer to pour,
slather, dab, and douse anything and
everything with butter. There may
not be anything better. Hmm... wait
a minute... have we discussed the
merits and joys of heavy cream yet?
Sorry but you'll have to wait for me
to whip that out in a future blog...