Saturday, February 1, 2014

RED ALERT



Red letter day
Valentine's Day is two weeks away
and I'm already tortured. Love is a
wonderful thing and celebrating it
should be fabulous. However...
rarely is that the case if one opts to
do so on February 14th. Often as
disappointing as New Years Eve,
it doesn't matter whether you're
single or coupled, the outcome is
likely to be very DEPRESSING!
With reservations...
If you've got a date, you have
to figure out where to dine and
what to give. Both of those can
be extremely challenging on a
dreary evening in the middle of
February. Dining out on V-Day
is always awful. Service is slow,
staff slovenly, or all the worse
sappy. They either forget you
exist or hover hoping a ring
may be sprung. In either case
I prefer to dine chez moi with
my beloved in peace and quiet.


Home is where the heart is
If one is single, your evening may be
equally depressing. But trust me, you
have it easier. Going home to a movie
and take out Chinese is dreamy when
compared to a dinner that costs twice
what it should. Rather than spend the
evening with the someone you love
(or loathe) you get to cuddle up with
yourself! At least you don't have to get
dressed up to spend an evening solo!


Caution - extremely hot!
Most seem to be confused about
what to wear on this "holiday".
Fashion rags publish voluminous
missives about how to transition
an ensemble from the office to an
evening out. Yet sadly, I find that
few secretaries from Staten Island
embrace this advice. Therefore the
office will be a sea of red or pink 
paillettes. While somewhat festive,
I prefer to NOT glitter and be gay
with my morning coffee. Some
things are best left at home!

How sweet it is
I don't like chocolate. Therefore a
satin heart stuffed full of Russell
Stover does not thrill. My Mother
loved any box from Louis Sherry.
The padded tins filled her boudoir
drawers storing cards, letters, bits,
and buttons. I just discovered that
Louis Sherry is back in business
and once again makes chocolates.
Why not give someone a box...
Love stinks
What to give one's most adored is
a problem. The traditional options
are perfume or jewelry. Both are
challenging when ones beloved is
a man. Neither of us embrace scent
therefore a bottle of cologne is not
an option. Plus Mr. V wears little to
no jewelry beyond a time piece. So
maybe it's time to make a donation
to our window treatment fund. We
move in soon and we must be kind
to our neighbors. You see, there's
a reason it's called the Passion Pit.

Love nest
I do adore some things red.
Much like Diana Vreeland,
I love a "garden in hell". In
my youth deep red was the
preferred tone for dining.
Occasionally I think back
of evenings at Ernie's where
one was enveloped in ruby
velvet... not only lush...
it muffled my fellow diners. 


All good things must end
Beyond the requisite pressures of
dining and gifting, many dread the
required demonstration of love at
the end of the evening. I can't tell
you how many couples I know who
apparently NEVER have sex. What
is that all about? No wonder many
need a day to celebrate love. While
some households may have little
love left between the sheets, at our
house every day is Valentine's Day!
No special evening is required.
It's monkey business as usual!