Monday, December 16, 2013

Baby it's cold outside

The great white way
Saturday it snowed all day. I'm certain
that for some it put them in the holiday
spirit. However horizontal snow blowing
into my face does anything but that.
Most are quite put off by a frosty foray
and sadly our challenged retailers may
have suffered the consequences. As you
know, I love snow but I must confess
loathing it's impact on holiday shopping.
Bothersome at best, why can't it wait?.
Mass transit
Snow in Manhattan means sleet and there is nothing messier. Our collective challenge while it's falling is to deftly navigate the mounds of snow and rivers of slush that fill our slippery streets. You see, as urbanites we spend the bulk of our day traveling in packs on foot. As the weather gets worse, so does our ability to move. Slowly our patience gets as thin as our pashminas.
Under cover
Hence our compulsion with the ever trusty umbrella. There is no better way to weather the storm than a sturdy bumbershoot. That said, there is little worse that moving through a crowd carrying a circular black tarp on a stick. While we need their protection, I've come to the conclusion that few are designed to be sturdy enough to survive the challenges of a winter storm in Manhattan. Therefore one views the remnants of umbrellas past in the gutter or trash cans everywhere.
Best foot forward
One might think that we city folk lead
a pampered existence. In fact few face
the elements on a daily basis more
than we do. Suburbanites simply walk
into their attached garages, hop into a
car, and drive. If you're honest, most
of you never walk anywhere. That
means you never straddle puddles
of slush the size of Witchita in your
new Manolos. Reason enough for
city slickers to own a pair of sturdy
boots. It's not a matter of fashion,
it's a matter of survival of the fittest!
Wrap it up
Once the temperature drops, all
pretenses of fashion fall with it.
Many urbanites wrap themselves
in down cocoons as we waddle
down the street. If you've ever
walked down Park Avenue on a
wintry day you know that a warm
coat is key. Fortunately Frank has
a cashmere and down parka with
a huge fur trimmed hood. When
he's not in town I must confess to
borrowing it. While I may resemble
Nanook of the North, I'm warm!
The ultimate cocoon
I think it's rather unfortunate that winter and the holidays are concurrent. I just think that running about town in a pair of shorts and flip flops would be much more convenient. If that were so I would probably complain about the heat and humidity! Cold or hot, the frenzy of the holidays puts all of us on edge. Maybe it's best that I simply stay at home, wrap my presents, and gaze at the tree!