Monday, October 14, 2019


Fifty shades of...
Recently we spent two nights at one of those
all suite hotels that includes a free breakfast.
Overall the experience was delightful. Yet
one thing was beyond irritating. Which was
the toaster. There is little more irritating than
standing before it's barely moving conveyor
belt. Patiently waiting for one's slice of bread,
english muffin, or bagel to exit transformed.
Time and again said journey ends in bitter
disappointment. After what seems eons said
slab of carbs exits sans any sign of progress.
And so you try, try, and try again. Or turn the
dial too high and end up being burnt for it.
Rise to the occasion
If we can put a man on the moon then why
can't somebody manufacture a toaster that
toasts in a timely manner? Sadly one need
not travel far from home for for a similar
crap shoot. At home we've got a stainless
beauty ready and waiting. Yet both Frank
and I are incapable of properly modulating
it's output. Hence a random brush of a hand
can shift the dial to incendiary levels. Or to
can only be considered a flash point. Thus
both of us are constantly dialing up or down
in an attempt to find toast nirvana. A fleeting
and temporal hot spot at best. It's crumby...
Heaven on earth
And yet what could be a more transformative
experience than the art of toasting? The simple
exposure of a mundane slice of bread to heat
creates magic. Suddenly for some reason it
tastes better. Aided by the sensory experience
of warmth and crunch. Hence whomever it
was who first exposed bread to fire should be
lauded as a genius. No wonder I tend to toast
everything on a daily basis. First I start my day
with a toasted english muffin slathered with
hummus or peanut butter. Later on, I make a
sandwich on toasted bread. No fancy panini
for me. Just good old fashioned TOAST.
Snap, crackle, pop!
The simplest things are often life's greatest
pleasures. All the reason to resolve our on-
going toast issues. Many take their kitchen
workhorse for granted. Making do with the
simplest of toasting mechanisms. However
the happiest of folks I know take toasting to
another level. All because they're the proud
owners of the ultimate toasting machine - a
Wolf from Williams Sonoma. For near $400
you can start your day right. Or if you really
want to do so with a smile on your face, buy
the SMEG Dolce & Gabbana version for
$850! It's certain to add a POP to your day!