Wednesday, October 30, 2019

Something evil this way comes...

Watch out
Is it me or is everybody in a dither?!
Our collective excuse seems to be
something to do with Mercury being
in retrograde. If you believe that sort
of stuff or not, it's hard to deny that
some evil force is pushing us all over
the edge. In an effort to aid in your
survival I thought I'd try to provide
information and advice on how to stay
out of trouble. My advice? Do nothing!
Step back
Mercury is in retrograde October 21st
through November 20th. As the sun
moves through the zodiac, Mercury's
orbit periodically moves ahead of the
sun, appearing to move in reverse. In
theory that inertia causes confusion.
On the first and last days it may be
better to stay in bed at home. Post the
twentieth it still could be a tad dicey
as we'll remain in Mercury's shadow
until December 7th. If you believe any
of this, that means it might be best to
not start celebrating AFTER the 8th.
Sit tight
This backward planetary force
creates a period of retrospection.
Rear momentum puts us all in
limbo providing a few weeks to
reconsider, re-evaluate, reorganize,
renovate, and reinvent. During
this time those who fall under the
zodiac signs of Scorpio, Aries,
Gemini, and Sagitarius will be at
their most vulnerable. Watch out!
Think first
Confused times can confuse.
So, before you do anything,
make sure you really need to
do it. Prior to hitting send on
that incendiary e-mail, stop,
pause, and reflect. Rather than
give an ultimatum, step back,
regroup, calm down, and wait!
Drop it
If you're inking any piece of paper, wait to seal the deal. If you absolutely must sign on the dotted line, hire the smartest people possible to advise you and LISTEN. Most important, do not initiate and/or complete any new contracts until AFTER the tenth. The fact is you're not thinking straight so why invest in anything you might regret on the eleventh?
Take care
If you're considering any elective surgery, wait until this mess is over. A few more days with those crows feet is not as bad as a botched face lift. Better to have both ears in their proper place than rush into the operating suite when the planets aren't properly aligned. Simply avoid danger.
Go solo
Whatever you do, don't get married until after the tenth. Why start things off on the wrong foot? Better to wait until the dust settles and then enjoy the orange blossoms. It's probably safe to bet that at least one of Elizabeth Taylor's or Zsa Zsa Gabor's nuptuals occurred when Mercury was in retrograde. When it comes to matters of the heart, wait awhile.
Slow down
All the planetary experts advise us to avoid technology - specifically anything mechanical. While I'm not quite sure why, I'm certainly not planning to tempt fate by operating a drill press while in pig tails any time soon. I suggest you do the same and delay purchasing a new car, computer, or cell phone until mid November at the earliest!
Stay home
Do not travel if possible. If one
must journey, make sure you
leave plenty of time for missed
connections. The crazy clock is
ticking so please be patient. No
need to go postal at the airport.
The fact is everyone including
you and that idiot behind the
desk is totally screwed!
Be careful
While I could not find any stats,
it's said that there are more auto
accidents when Mercury is in
retrograde. Apparently all minds
are on anything but the road.
That guy speeding towards you
is equally distracted. So rather
than bend your Mercury's fender,
why not take the bus or subway!?