Friday, December 14, 2018


Miraculous misconceptions
One of the worst aspects of being an adult is
the realization that there is NO Santa. Year
after year I find myself wishing that some
savior in red would swoop down from above
and take care of my Christmas list instantly.
Gone would be the stress of selecting proper
gifts plus wrapping, packing, and delivering
them on time. I fantasize that in addition said
gift from God will also mail Christmas cards,
decorate the tree, and cook our dinner on the
twenty fifth. Sadly redemption never arrives.
Thus by the time Christmas Eve is here I'm
disappointed, bitter, and pooped. Ho ho no!
No rest for the cheery
Honestly, I really do try to get the holiday spirit.
However in reality it gets harder every year to
find much joy in this busiest of times. Hence
like Mr. Scrooge I tend to wander around town
muttering to myself with a frown upon my face.
Initially Frank and I assumed we'd be sailing
far away rather than stay at home and deal with
the holidays. Only to discover that planning
and orchestrating a journey is as hard as trying
to squeeze my fat ass down someone's chimney.
So rather than add more stress to this seasonal
mess we will stay at home, put up a tree, host
Christmas dinner, and be sure to drink heavily.
Heaven help us
One of the things I do miss is celebrating the
reason for the season. As you may recall we
gave up organized religion several years ago.
Given all of the ungodly headlines, diocesan
lawsuits, and priest's crimes against humanity
I know we made the right decision. Yet when
it comes to Christmas, I feel lost without the
context, rituals, and traditions of church. Part
of me wants to return like some prodigal son.
Yet another voice deep within cautions against
purposefully submitting myself to what could
be a painful process. You see, the last thing
that I want is to be disappointed once again.
Prayer meeting
In my opinion most religious endeavors have
little to nothing to do with any higher being.
Rather they're all about the humans involved
in said process. Unfortunately when one has
a gathering of believers the end result seems
to inevitably encourage inhumane behavior.
A phenomena that couldn't possibly be more
ungodly. Thus while I miss worshiping with
a community of saints I'm still planning to sit
this season out at home. Reconnecting with
God on a one-to-one basis. Which seems to
make sense given if nothing else one's faith
is a very personal rather than rote affair.
Gifts that keep on giving
The problem with Christmas at large is that
we're expected to celebrate via one massive
cookie cutter series of events. All of which
seem to get more involved and complicated
as the years go by. Maybe we should all do
our best to orchestrate a kinder and gentler
holiday. One where nobody has to drink the
eggnog unless they actually like it. A refuge
where the yule log burns with gas, Christmas
dinner cleans up after itself, and there are no
carolers warbling at the door. A time when
the greatest gift is not giving or receiving.
But simply loving those near and dear to us.