Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Oh you dirty little...

Clean sweep
The process of transforming the
Passion Pit into a home requires
more than simply unpacking.
After being gutted to the studs,
the residual impact is a thin layer
of plaster dust that has permeated
every crevice. A vacuum or some
swiffer simply aren't enough. In
order to move in the entire place
has to get a good, deep cleaning.
The only problem is, who is going
to do it? While quite domesticated
I'm unwilling to clean up my act.
Rise and shine
Well, that's not entirely true. I do
love to polish. There's little thats
as satisfying as transforming any
tarnished tidbit into a glowing gem.
Except maybe the joy of polishing
one's table tip until it resembles a
mahogany infinity pool. My bestie
"T" knowns that nothing transforms
a room more than the shimmering
shine of a perfectly polished brass
knob. Without it, one's room is as
bare as a aged whore sans bijoux.
Dish Pan Man
I must confess that I do the dishes.
Sadly most of my adored china and
glassware is vintage and therefore
cannot be put in the dishwasher.
Like a scullery maid, it's up to me
to clean up the mess post soiree.
often preferable to do one's dirty
work before bed. However post a
few cocktails one's demeanor can
closely resemble a bull in a china
shop! My father also loved to do
the dishes. Hopefully I'm not a
chip off the old block! CAREFUL!
Chill out
The other day I cleaned our fridge
(better known as the black hole of
Montana.) Somehow my thrifty
partner can't let anything go until it
is well beyond the expiration date.
My sense is that bottle of organic
beet juice stamped with 2006 must
indicate that nobody likes the stuff.
Having survived in frigid isolation
for some time, it finally expired.
Now our cool cave glistens
brightly and is ready for edibles.
Dust bowl
I like to do the dusting. That's
because in my opinion it's all
about the tablescape. Many
decorators have been known
to provide schematics for the
"help". This boy prefers to do
it himself and tweak along the
way. A little rearranging can
transform your home as does
an exercise in EDITING. As
with accessories, it's best to
remove half before you walk
out of the door. TAKE IT OFF!
Scrub a tub
I loathe cleaning the bathroom.
While astringents help maintain
one's youth, the chemicals that
keep one's porcelain palace tidy
can kill you. That's the primary
reason why I prefer to have some
one else brush our bowls, It's so
much more civilized than Frank
or I swabbing the decks. Sadly
as of yet, we've been unable to
find someone local who'll do it
like we like it. So, we're stuck
cleaning up after OURSELVES!
What a hoot
Anywhere else I'd hire an industrial
cleaning service to spit and polish
our pit. However one doesn't exist
here in rural Montana. Many people
use the local Hutterite ladies. Given
they live in colonies, they will do
almost anything for some extra cash.
However my sister-in-law recently
had them clean her house post their
kitchen renovation. After a hole in
the wall and a few bucket rings, she
realized they were a little too rough
and ready for her taste. OUCH!
SOS pad
So we're calling around for alternatives.
I just found out about a new cleaning
service and I hope we can hire at least
one brave soul to do our heavy lifting.
The only way to get rid of that dust is
to scrub every inch so we'll do just that.
Inch by inch, room by room, and box
by box. We should be fully moved into
the Passion Pit by late May. Whether
we'll be in any condition to enjoy it is
questionable. One thing is certain,
after a year of restoration it's time to