Thursday, October 30, 2014

Make someone happy?!

An exercise in futility
The longer I'm on this earth the more
I question whether the statement that
entitles today's blog is possible. Many
of us spend our lives doing everything
possible to make other's more pleasant.
As parents, partners, family, or friends
all we want is those we care about to be
happy. However in many ways whether
their outlook is rosy are blue is none of
our business. You see try as you might,
nobody can truly impact or change the
way somebody else feels deep within.
So why do so many of us keep trying?!

Drink the Kool Aid
There is no magic pill to life's problems.
The reality that you can't fix somebody
else is an elusive fact at best. How many
have spent years in relationships where
something totally beyond your control
was wrong? Even odder, how many spent
years trying to counter balance another's
ill will? It never works and yet most of us
never figure that out. Instead we bother,
fuss, hover, and fluff their pillows. Rarely
do our attempts at fixing someone else
have any impact. That's because self help
is exactly that... self help.
Who's to blame?
Most Baby Boomers have spent their
adult lives blaming others for their
problems. The drive to figure things
out may have backed many of us into
a corner. Sometimes there just aren't
answers to our questions and hence
one must move on. Yet creating the
inertia required to arise from a self
induced coma is beyond challenging.
And while Jesus was able to make
Lazarus arise from the dead, chances
are few of you have a miracle hidden
up your sleeve. You are not God!
Face time
I've come to the conclusion that if
somebody is unhappy, it's their own
fault. The only person who can make
life better is the idiot looking at you
in the mirror. We each bear the full
responsibility for our lives and every
aspect of them. If you hate your job,
grin and bear it or quit. We all make
mistakes but if yours sits across from
you at the dinner table nightly, cancel
your reservations and move on. Misery
may love company but those invited
rarely stay where they're not wanted.
Wake up
Wallowing in the muck of life can be
much like attempting to rise out of
quick sand. Our actions only cause us
to sink deeper into the abyss until we
are finally sucked under. And often
the person standing on the edge with
an outreached hand trying to help is
pulled down with us. This foolishness
simply has to stop. At some point one
grows up and must take responsibility
for their personal fulfillment. Nobody
ever said it was going to easy except
for some delusional bestselling author.
Self help
Just get on with it. By "it" I mean
life. If something is bothering you
either face it head on or... forget
about it. Either way is better than
allowing life to bubble, boil, or
fester. Cancer rarely cures itself
and feeding angst only ends in
disaster. I know it's hard but most
of us feel the same. That's why it's
important to take care of yourself
and you alone. You've got enough
problems so leave fixing others to
others and go ahead... be happy!