I'm really rather "off" this morning.
Normally the early hours of a day
are mine alone. Yet this morning
post stumbling out of bed I met an
oddly perky manifestation of my
significant other. For some reason
he was bright eyed and bushy tailed.
Doing laundry and stoking the fire
in his wood stove in the bowels of
our home. Initially I was shocked
by this early hour intruder. In fact
I was totally thrown off my game.
You see, I don't adapt well to change.
We all have our routines. Patterns
of behavior that help us navigate
the daily drudgery of life. While
some might think that a change
in rote would be welcome, for me
it's daunting at best. There's little
doubt that I adore Frank but even
the most ardent of lovers can turn
on their beloved prior to their first
cup of coffee. Once one's cadence
has been deferred I find it almost
impossible to regain my morning
mojo. Can we start it over again?
Former associate "E" is in a state of
transition. That period between here
and there can weaken the resolve of
the most stolid soul. After departing
a long term relationship the process
of healing has to occur. We rarely
allow ourselves enough time to fully
recuperate post trauma. Instead we
rush on to "next". Without having
fully worked through what and why
it's virtually impossible to figure out
what's best for us. Hence the cycle
of self flagellation simply continues.
When queried about how to handle
periods of purgatory - my advice is
establish a routine. During tough
times there is little we can trust.
So it's best to make sure one has at
least something to rely on - oneself.
Otherwise we wallow in a pit of ill
focused nothingness. A semblance
of sanity helps one clear their head
and move on. However some of us
decide to hide behind complacency.
And that fear of change stifles any
opportunity for innovation.
To be clear - there's nothing wrong with
a routine. A confirmed creature of habit,
I revel in rote. However being unwilling
(or unable) to welcome ebbs and flows
in said routine is problematic. Thus at
times we need Prince Charming's kiss
to awaken us from our malaise. After
Frank did some laundry and heated up
the joint, he took me out for breakfast.
Post some eggs and bacon suddenly
all was right with the world and I was
ready for anything. Talk about a wake
up call. What a difference a day makes!
