THE DEVIL WITHIN

Post traumatic stress syndrome 
It's all too easy to be unnerved. To lose one's

sense of calm. And thus rendered unable to

function. Often uncertainty is due to a lack

of trust. Something shakes our resolve. And

instills a lack of confidence impossible to

shake off. My "scam" experience last week

did just that. Causing me to fret about ALL

and anything. Especially if or when it relates

to my computer. Hence I'm freaked out when

my computer fan runs incessantly. Assuming

the scammers left some secret gremlin within

my laptop. Focused on nothing but stealing

or destroying my data. And... me...

Vapor where? 
Most know what they don't know. However

understanding one's limitations doesn't insure

one isn't limited by forces beyond our control.

Which is why I've repeatedly called the Apple

team in an attempt to end the incessant whirl

of my laptop's fan. Their repeated evaluations

and assurances aside did nothing to help. So I

hit the web in search of answers. It's amazing

what one can find. However having been led

down the wrong path by the scammer - I was

careful. First making sure that whomever was

offering advice was legit and authentic. And

not out to get me. I won't be made a fool again.

Buried treasure 
Ultimately like Alice in Wonderland I found the

answer deep down said digital rabbit hole. And

after carefully following instructions solved my

problem. Meaning that a week later I may have

resolved all of my scam related issues. However

that doesn't totally let me off the hook. In that

I'm still uncertain of what exactly they did post

gaining access to my computer. Thus I must

continue to be vigilant. And attempt to protect

myself from unseen sources. total. My primary

focus being to attempt to protect myself against

unseen and unknown forces. And hopefully in

said process be able to finally calm down. 

FOOTSTEPS IN THE SAND

Tried and true
It's been ten years since my Mother exited the

premises. Eleven in my Father's case. Sans a

direct connection to one's very start it might be

easy to feel like an orphan. However everyday

my parents are with me in mysterious ways.

Yesterday I made rice pudding with leftover

rice from Chinese takeout earlier this week.

Which I hadn't enjoyed for years beyond the

occasional mound served in a coffee shop in

Manhattan. That evening as we enjoyed said

just dessert... it was as if Ethel was sitting at

the table with us. Alive, well, and happy. A

perfect example of the ultimate in leftovers...

Long distance calls
This morning I sang "Happy Birthday" to

my eldest daughter for the forty first time.

Reinforcing our strong connection till this

day. Fortunately for all of us there is one

primary benefit to technology. Which is

that we can see and hear our family via on-

line video chat options. The only problem

being that when I see what they see (as in

me) I'm always reminded of Jabba the Hutt.

Yesterday my youngest daughter sent me

photos of her two boys searching for beach

glass along the Lake Michigan shore. Her

fond childhood tradition she's passing on.

Glass half full
Things like rice pudding, birthday ditties, 

and beach glass insure that each of us lives

on. In the most important spot imaginable.

The hearts and minds of those we love. As

always it's the simplest things in life that

create a long lasting impression. Insuring

that years after we're gone our love is still

an everyday occurrence. Hence just living

and loving is the best legacy. Something to

think about given most of us tend to over

complicate things. Ultimately most of the

foolishness that consumes us really doesn't

matter. It's the little things that count.

The sum total of which is...

Comp time
I've never been a mathematical whiz. Baffled by

anything beyond basic arithmetic I struggle with

numbers. Hence it adds up that the only way that

I passed algebra was by creating bulletin boards

for my teacher after school. Don't get me wrong,

if forced to I can calculate with the best of them.

Even if my natural inclination is to do anything

but enter data onto some Excel spreadsheet. Yet

life rarely allows one to avoid the inevitable. So

I've spent the past week cooking the "books" for

our business. An annual necessary evil that this

blogger detests, loathes, and abhors. Therefore

even a filing an extension only extends the pain.

Alternative route
I know what I know. Thus for this man the

status quo is much more comfortable than

anything new. Which is why I compile and

create elaborate data dumps in WORD not

EXCEL. Along with doing anything needed

to avoid downloading Quickbooks. While

everybody assures me that doing just that

would make life easier - I choose to reject

convenience for comfort. Creating a more

taxing situation when I prepare my taxes.

Hence as with all things in life - I make

them harder than they have to be. I guess

I'm a rebel at heart. Or a complete fool.

Pay day
Paying Caesar his due is the ultimate act of

conformity. Proof that each of us are cogs in

society's machinations. What makes it even

worse is the related paperwork required to

pay up. Thus much like preparing for one's

weekly cleaning lady's visit - it takes weeks

to gather all necessary for the accountant to

do their job. Somehow I got through it and

now its THEIR problem - not mine. That is

until they talley up and tell me how much

I owe. The sum total of which always seems

unfair along with beyond unnecessary. And

therefore somehow it all never adds up. 

AND THE BAD NEWS IS...

Emergency calls

A recent study indicates that Americans can't

get enough bad news. Reviewing coverage

of the Covid crisis they found that most folks

avidly posted and passed along the worst of

it. Which negatively emphasized all problems.

Whereas any tidbits that focused on positive

elements were virtually ignored or got poor

ratings. Ample proof that misery truly loves

company. And that our natural inclination is

to consider the glass half empty versus half

full. An approach to life that seems dismal

at best. Are we our own worst enemies? Or

do we actually thrive on being miserable?

Hot lines
Somebody coined the phrase - "garbage in - 

garbage out". Given our preference for bad

news some of us feed on controversy it's all

too true. Assuming the worst in all of us we

love warped conspiracy theories, warped

justification of negative forces, along with

outright lies. Recently I clicked on a friend's

facebook post about being "cut off" - unable

too post extremist statements on said venue.

Irate that "free speech" was being violated.

Preferring to drag us all down with them as

they slur our democracy. Hoping that we'll

join them on a journey from bad to worse.

Enough already
Obviously we've got lots of problems. Even

if it's highly doubtful that Democrats sacrifice

tots and drink their blood, the odds are one

may be shot dead while picking up a gallon

of milk. Given reject common sense health

measures - chances are those not vaccinated

could still catch Covid 19. Life is never easy.

Nor does everyone have the of best intentions.

Hence the only thing we can control is how

we react to life's challenges. Obviously there

are many benefits to positive intent. Research

indicates happy people are healthier. So why

not look on the bright side?

OPERATE WITH CAUTION

Pass imperfect

Post my cyber scam I spent all of yesterday

mounting a defense. Assured by Apple that

my passwords were fine -  I changed them.

A tedious task that proves how fragile one's

personal security is on-line. If you're like

me - you forgot all of your passwords. Not

recording them in one spot. Post allowing a

stranger to roam my laptop I didn't type out

and save my new passwords on my desktop.

Instead I did it the old fashioned way with

pen on paper. Nor did I let some password

"tool" generate "options. Instead I used my

own secret code. Now let's hope it works!

Double indemnity
All of the above may seem paranoid but can

you blame me? At least for me, my personal

laptop is about as personal as I can get. My

constant companion throughout each day.

Right or wrong I rely on my computer. Or... 

some might suggest have become addicted to

the instant access it offers to world at large.

Hence like it or not, we're a team. Thus when

somebody threatens my sidekick I kick into

defense mode. Ultimately I have to hope I've

done everything I can do to insure my data

remains secure. However I'm certain I've a

bad case of post traumatic stress syndrome.  

Stop, drop, and roll
Life is short. So every time something bad

happens I feel like said stress is cutting it

even closer. The last thing I need is to end

up with a massive tumor caused by some

huckster in India. Reason enough to do my

best to learn from my mistakes.  Which are

mostly driven by my desire for a quick fix.

When crisis hits I spring to action. A good

thing except when not accompanied by a

dose of cautious reason. So the next time

something goes wrong I need to think first.

Otherwise I'll only make things worse. 

Hence my new password is CAUTION.

Innocent yet proven guilty

Error in judgement

Nobody wants to admit they are in the wrong.

Nor embrace the concept that they've made a

mistake. Especially when in theory they had

no idea of what they were doing. Yesterday I

made an error in judgment. Not purposefully

but in my opinion rather innocently. Or... as

some might suggest foolishly. You see I was

scammed via the internet. To the tune of over

five hundred dollars. All done in a very simple

yet cunning way. And now that it's done I'm

trying to right the wrongs. Facing the reality

that I've made big mess that isn't easily fixed.

Proof I'm not so smart as I thought I was.

In a fix
Yesterday I had trouble hooking up a printer.

So like almost anybody I googled for help in

resolving the problem. Soon I was watching

a series of videos telling me step by step how

to get up and running. Which I followed step

by step. Suddenly a message told me that the

"printer could not be installed due to security

issues." Displaying a number which I called.

Immediately I was talking to a guy who said

he could fix it. However he needed access to

my computer. It was all so smooth and simple

that I saw no problem. So this fool of fools 

let him rush in. And take over my life.

Totally checked out
Within minutes he helped me get the printer

to work. However he also had access to all

of my info at the same time. Well... not all.

When finished he informed me that he had

eliminated a plethora of foreign addresses

on my IP. And installed a security system 

"metotherescue" to insure it didn't happen

again. All for the tidy sum of $490. Which

I had to pay by supplying my bank account

numbers. Suddenly the light bulb went off

and I knew I'd been taken. Yet at that point

he was still in/on my computer. So I stalled

until he agreed to take a credit card instead.

Get smart
Once the dirty deed was done and he was

off my computer I called Apple. They soon

installed Malware and helped me check out

my computer carefully. In the end they say

nothing was violated. And that everything

should be fine. However I changed all of my

passwords. Next I contacted the credit card

company and put a dispute on the scam fee.

Meanwhile I googled the company who'd

done me wrong and found that many fellow

victims. All who told the same story. So... 

while an idiot at least I wasn't alone. Yet as

of this morning I'm still totally freaked out.

Numb and dumber
All of the above is a reminder that we all

must be careful who we trust. While not

a believer in conspiracy theories I've no

doubt that there are evil forces out there.

Ready to take advantage. So watch out.

Be cautious. Assume nothing. And most

important - don't leave the door open. I'll

be dealing with the ramifications of this

mess long term. And while it's my fault - 

I'm an innocent victim. That is a gullible,

willing participant in my own undoing.

Just another example of how technology

IS NOT MY FRIEND. 

7th Day Surprise: Hello Spring!

Over and out

Saturday was the official first day of spring.

It's time to break out of your cocoon and fly!
So say goodbye to winter...
Ready, set,
BLOSSOM!