I LIKE PORK

I ham what I ham
I've been known to occasionally
spout some wisdom. One of my
quips is "Men are pigs but I love
PORK." Yes - I had to kiss a few
frogs prior to finding my prince.
But that taught me that most men
are if nothing else, male. Hence
they're arrogant, self absorbed,
callous, and oblivious. Sadly
most allow an organ other than
their brain to do the thinking.
While I may be a man, trust me
girls... I've been there, done them!

Pig headed
Human flesh aside I'll admit that
even more than other members of
my species - I never turn down a
chance to nibble on some pork.
Frankly, could there be anything
as fabulous? From bacon to chops
to ribs to loins to sausage - I can't
get enough of all things porcine.
Some things are too good to resist.
While pigging out may be against
some's religion, I'm fairly certain
that when nobody is looking they're
making pigs of themselves. OINK!

Side show
In Montana there is a local specialty
that I'd never seen prior. "Side Pork"
is uncured sliced pork belly. In other
words the raw stuff - untouched -
unsmoked. One simply fries it like
bacon and liberally douse it with
salt and pepper. Many of my eastern
friends initially protest the very idea
of eating such a piggish indulgence.
The smell alone can be off putting.
However after nibbling on a crisp
slice most become covert converts.
TALK ABOUT PORKING OUT!

Bring home the bacon
With Easter looming I'll admit that
I'm fervently anticipating HAM.
My dearly departed Mother was
challenged in the culinary arts.
However like any good WASP -
Ethel could bake a good ham.
Every time my parents visited,
Mother arrived with an authentic
Virginia ham. Somehow it seemed
that said baked delight lasted eons.
For at least two weeks we ate ham
sandwiches, salad, croquettes, and
finally split pea soup! Recycling!

This little piggy...
I'm not alone. The other white meat
may be in the midst of a renaissance.
When I was a boy Brooklyn was
considered another country. Yet now
it's the home to any bon vivant who
hasn't migrated to Astoria (Queens).
Whatever borough one frequents
pork belly is on the menu. What
was once considered garbage is
now braised to heights of glory.
Have we become addicted to white
trash cuisine? Further proof that men
truly are pigs when it comes to pork!

Can a leopard change his spots?

Spot removers
We all try to hope for the better. And yet all too
often we give others the benefit of our doubt.
Hoping against hope that somehow when faced
with challenges they will change for the better.
Only to find that in truth, they are who they are.
Hence while capable of subtle evolution, most
of us simply can't change. Nor do many want
to. Instead they are perfectly happy in their own
skin. Incapable of truly changing - even if they
wanted to. Thus while some convicted criminals
can be rehabilitated others can't. The difference
being a good person gone bad versus visa versa.
Good gone bad versus pure, unadulterated evil.

Adult education
Some never learn their lessons. Not because
we're ignorant. Nor resistant to illumination.
Rather our inability to gain further wisdom
is limited by an unwillingness to embrace
alternatives. Hence a lethal combination of
ignorance and arrogance prohibits further
self-improvement. Thus even if our hope is
that some folks will change they're incapable
of doing just that.  Therefore if anybody is to
blame for our resulting disappointment it is
ourselves. Dreaming an impossible dream is
foolhardy at best. Especially given the odds
are most certainly against us.

Change for change's sake
As proven by Donald Trump's behavior post
his impeachment exoneration. Rather than
regretting his prior misdeeds, he feels fully
empowered to do whatever he likes. Such
bad behavior being nothing new. So why are
we surprised? He is who he is. And isn't it
time that all of us faced that fact. The same
applies to his potential presidential foes.
Bernie is simply a curmudgeon. Elizabeth
has always been the smartest Pollyanna in
the room. Mike has spent his life trying to
overcompensate for his shortcomings. Joe
is a nice guy ready to accept sloppy seconds.

Reality check please
Pete is the smartest guy in the room and knows
it. Amy assumes that her hard work and good
intentions will ultimately be rewarded. The list
goes on and on. So rather than be distracted,
isn't it time that we face reality? Assuming it
is what it is, we can't afford to waste time. If
only the choice were simpler but it never is.
So do us all a favor. Step back and seriously
consider your options. Embrace each candidate
for who they truly are. Not what you hope they
can become. That's the only way to narrow the
field, limit our options, and move on to victory.
Whoever you choose, be real.

TIME WAITS FOR NO MAN

Time marches on
The other morning I encountered a stranger.
Exactly who was that older guy staring back
at me in the mirror? Upon reflection said all
too familiar visage was proof that aging is
if nothing else humbling. Bringing to mind
Mr. John "Black Jack" Bouvier, Jacqueline
Bouvier Kennedy's father. Or as my mother
oft said  "The most beautiful man EVER."
However as his evolutionary journey above
indicates... too much money, vanity, booze,
and sex cannot usurp the harsh reality that
time waits for no man. Rather it marches on.
Across one's crumbling facade that is...

Balancing act
Change is a necessary evil. Some of
us are able to handle it's degradation
with dignity and aplomb. Like Black
Jack's twin baby sisters (shown right).
Dressed for JFK's inaugural ball, they
posed before their prior selves. With
little to lose given they'd been there -
done that. And yet somehow they
both found a way to live comfortably
to completion. Exactly why do many
battle versus embrace the inevitable?
Especially when fighting gravity is an
exercise in futility. We ALL fall down.

Sooner or later
In life many hit rock bottom.
Little is sadder than watching
older folks as they suffer the
consequences. As a deb little
Edie Beale - Jackie's cousin
had it all. By the end she had
next to nothing. As shown in
"Grey Gardens" said beauty
had a beast of a time coping
with reality. Barely surviving
proof that what goes around
comes around. Whether we
care to embrace it or NOT.

Amazing grace
Some go through hell and yet are
able to handle its' consequences.
Thus against all odds Jacqueline
Bouvier Kennedy Onassis aged
with grace, elan, and fortitude.
Ample indication that survival is
about attitude foremost. Which
reminds me of my mother-in-law
Pearl. From beginning to end she
made this world a better place
via a mix of kindness, beauty,
and humility. A perfect example
of growing old GRACEFULLY!

THERES NO PLACE LIKE HOME

Paradise lost
No place is perfect. Even the most sylvan of
settings - southern California - is plagued by
smog, quakes, fire, and slides. Therefore in
essence, we all must go through our requisite
"winter" of discontent. In central Montana
our big chill lasts from sometime in October
through early May. Hence like it or not, we
have no option but to put up with whatever
Mother Nature decides to dump on us. That
is except for the snowbirds. Those lucky few
who escape the season's worst by traveling
south. Where given timing is everything, the
weather is much better in comparison.

Storm surge
What could possibly be better than savoring
sunny seventies while it's snowing and ten
below back home. However for those who
call said temporal nirvanas home, they're just
like all places. And at some point the weather
dramatically shifts against their favor. Every
place must suffer seasonal consequences. Be
it Arizona in August or Miami Beach amidst
a monsoon. Which means that each year we
all must make do and adjust to the worst of
circumstances. Which is not just a test of our
patience but a testament to our adaptability.
Helpful given all to soon, this too shall pass.

Snow daze
Each winter I encourage my readers and myself
to appreciate the here and now. While my body
rebels more each year, I still appreciate winter.
Which seems to be the only time when I'm able
to actually accomplish something. Last week
I touched up nicks and spots across the house.
Fixed a faulty light switch. Reorganized some
paperwork. Checking off a variety of "to do's"
long overlooked. All that plus shoveling us out
several times. And somehow, I feel better than
I would on some far away beach. Finding that
in all actuality the majority of my best of times
have occurred while I'm stuck out in the cold.

Ship of fools
It could be worse. A few months ago Frank and
I seriously considered taking an extended asian
cruise. On a boat named the Diamond Princess.
Which means that right now Frank and I might
have been quarantined. Either on-board in Japan
or on some base in Nebraska. Proving that just
when you think you're escaped reality, fate is
ready to bitch slap in a second. Something tells
me those weary travelers wish they'd just stayed
home. Which is exactly where I plan to remain
until the spring thaw arrives. Grateful for my
hibernation well spent. And ready to enjoy our
limited time in the sun if... and when it arrives!

OLD DOGS, NEW TRICKS

Reddy and waiting
More than half of Americans are women. One
hundred years ago they cast their first votes in
a Presidential election. However a century later
their fight for equality continues. Way back in
1971 Helen Reddy roared in protest. Touting
the power and lamenting the plight of females.
In 1973 the supreme court gave them the right
to make their own decisions. So it would seem
that things were settled long ago. However the
Harvey Weinsteins of this world continue to
abuse what little power they have left. Insuring
the battle of the sexes wages on and on and on.
Is gender equality nothing but an illusive dream?

Boom and bust
Even if it seems like we've made no progress -
we have. The most seismic shifts that we baby
boomers worked through have altered sexual
stereotypes. Our mothers were little more than
domestic servants. Causing my lady peers to
stand up for their rights. Even if that required
donning a bow tie blouse in the board room.
Slowly things have gotten fairer. And while
we've yet to hit a truly even keel... we can't go
back. Nor should we. Yet in our digital age,
many look back at prior words and deeds and
forget this has been an evolutionary process.
One where we've all changed for the better.

We've come a long way baby
In our "me too" times it's all too easy to tar all
gentleman with the same brush. Some want to
punish older guys like Bloomberg and Biden
for their pasts imperfect. Assuming that much
like Mr. Trump, men are incapable learning
their lessons. However rather than backtrack,
shouldn't we focus on the here and now? Ten
years ago who would have believed we could
elect a black President? Nor that a woman
would win our popular vote. And who could
have imagined that a gay candidate would be
a caucus choice? So rather than dish old dirt,
why not celebrate how far we've come?!

Old enough to know better
Boys will continue to be boys. Fortunately the
ones we raised see our world on an even keel.
Considering their female counterparts as equal
but different. Thus it seems that our generation
has changed our world for the better. So while
we still have work to do, we're almost there.
Such an on-going process requires that we all
change along the way. Rather than look back
isn't it time we leapt forward? While historical
precedence certainly has value, one can argue
that evidence of subsequent evolution is the
best measure of a man or woman. And just
maybe a leader who can settle our differences.

BEYOND REVOLUTIONARY

Birthday boy
Today is President's Day. Actually,
288 years ago, George Washington
was born on February 22nd. Yet
somehow I feel very colonial today.
That's something my Mother would
appreciate given Ethel was a rabid
colonialist. While certainly proud
of her deep roots linking us back to
the Mayflower, DAR, Society of
The Cincinnati, and of course The
Colonial Dames, lineage had little
to do with it. Rather, Ethel simply
adored anything "early American".

Past imperfect
Mother wasn't alone. Most of Ethel's
generation decorated in two extremes.
Either radically modern or sedately
traditional. Many found living within
a glass box made a statement about
who they were. However many others
including my dear parents felt that a
historical connection communicated
breeding and culture. Looking back,
both had their merits. Mid Century
modern is now all the rage however
I hope that maple dry sinks filled with
plastic ivy NEVER regain popularity.

Rose colored glasses
Certainly there were many elements to
this blast from the past. None of which
truly had any actual link with any thing
even faintly connected to our colonial
heritage. One popular decorative touch
were glass shelves built into a window
and then filled with colored glass. As a
child I spent hours admiring those hues
as the sun shone through our living room
window. I can still hear the clink of them
being cleaned weekly. Ethel insisted that
every single one be taken down, wiped
down, and returned to it's EXACT spot.

Restorative powers
Ultimately Mother's addiction led her
to retire in Colonial Williamsburg. It's
streets and gardens were a veritable
Disney Land for such a lover of all
things not quite revolutionary. Craft
House reproductions were Mother's
obsession. Therefore our decor was
linked to some room or item within
the restoration. We dutifully swaged
our jabots and limited the palette to
official hues from Pratt & Lambert.
Not only "tasteful" our decor subtly
reinforced Ethel's link with history.

Home sweet home
Recently we sold two pedestals
to a couple in New Jersey. When
said goodies finally arrived they
sent me pictures. And that's when
I discovered that they lived in a
split level homage to Monticello.
Which warmed my neo colonial
heart. Somehow I get all warm
and fuzzy when I see a hooked
rug or weather vane. While my
style has evolved far beyond
Americana a random past blast
still brings me "home" by George!

7th Day Surprise: Down Spout

BATH ANYONE?

Once in awhile we all have to indulge.

And somehow there's nothing

hotter or steamier

than a nice long bath.

Come on in... the waters fine!